I'm Damaged But I Still Want My Christmas Wish

Day: Xmas Eve 2007
Scene: FAST Office Brisbane

I guess I am a workaholic? On my day off and I am in the office still.
Well...I am going to be in Singapore for about 3 weeks from the 27th so I setting some work affairs in order here before I leave.
So here I am! :P

The past few days has gotten me thinking again about what has happened over the last few years; memories of Joy, Peacefulness and Bliss but also Pain, Sadness and Regret. A normal thing during the festive season I guess...especially during Xmas. A time of Joy, Peace and most importantly...Hope.

Something that bugs me during this season is the knowledge that those who deserve happiness and blessings will get them. The irony is...I LOVE this 'idea' that karma, or whatever name it goes by, brings happiness to those who deserve it and takes it away from people who don't. This probably places me in the "not deserving" category immediately. Whatever I "good" I do now is only paying off the "bad" from my growing up.

Someday perhaps I might "pay off" the bad I guess. But it makes me wonder whether the scales are actually tipping (slowly or not) in my favor. The "series of unfortunate events" over the past few years seem to indicate that it hasn't. Albeit this, an old teaching from Catechism has kept me going a little everyday.

"God allows things to happen to you (good and bad) so to prepare you to handle what is coming up"

Is this true? Everyday I ask myself this question.
When will the time come when the holidays isn't a lonely period of time? It has been like that for so long that it almost feel second nature already. I am surprised that I haven't developed a seething hatred for this period of time.
Maybe the Xmas Play in Junior College helped a little. (so weird no? something so long ago and insignificant in many people's lives)
"When Hope Comes" was the title.
Back then I still fully believed in that.
That no matter how bad things turn out...Christmas is a shining beacon of light for those in the darkness of loss...sadness...loneliness.

I am damaged this way I guess. Jaded perhaps. Not as dramatic as you get from movies or television shows but a slow, quiet pained person.
I know I am not alone...this feeling is probably universal especially during the holidays. If only the world was a less cruel place. Then everyone can and will be happier.

But for now...just the next few days...I just want my wish to come true.
All I wish for this Xmas...is a little bliss.


Plans for the New Year

Sleepy so it'll be a short entry.

So lets see...what has happened recently.
I finally got that hotel suite for the New Year Party but I am trying to find ways to entertain.
Games? Alco? Maybe I'll even bring back the Nintendo. Still not confirmed. We'll see.

Still got many things to get done before I can leave Brissy for a holiday.
Gotta get my rental agreement signed.
Settle a couple of tax issues.
Buy all the pressies/things requested.
Xmas party.
Xmas @ AC's.
Xmas @ Anthea's.

Hmm...I THINK that is all...
Hmm...seems like there is still a way to go even though it is only 10 days away.
Then there'll be another 'stack' of things to do before I can relax on NYE.
At least I got authorization to work offsite from SG in case I can't get the earlier tickets back here.



Hotel Woes

OMG....planning a small gathering/getaway while I am back in SG is turning out to be a disaster. And well...it's not really a getaway. Just wanna plan a New Year's Party at a hotel room somewhere in the marina area. But trying to get a place that can hold about 10-15 people with a view for the fireworks is really beginning to bug me.

Naturally...a normal sized hotel room is not going to be sufficient in this scenario. So I am opting for hotel suites. Budget wise I can definitely cover but I still want a good deal (like a typical SGian eh?).

So where can I go?
Marina Mandarin?
Peninsula Excelsior?
Pan Pac?
If only I had money falling from the sky...then the decision might be easier.

Now Gavin says he wants to have something at his place instead this year but still confirming on that.
I already made plans with people and unless he doesnt mind a group of people he doesnt know at his place...i dont think that's gonna work out.


I hate waking up

Had a great dream...it was weird...like all dreams...but I was happy...
Why did I have to wake up?...



Got this stupid thought stuck in my head since I woke up and just needed to get it out here: "What makes a person attractive?"

So? What actually DOES make a person attractive to another?
The basic answer I believe (especially in this day and age) is how the rest of the world has programmed us into thinking, "What is attractive".

The modern world, filled with magazines and endless streaming of television, radio and advertisement tells us that slim, fit people are attractive.
For men, a V-shaped torso with well toned muscles, tall (this is relative of course), man-scaped (this is relative again of course) and for some people, a good sized penis (Haha...again...very very relative to personal preferences).
For women, it's either a thin body that seems to resemble some sort of clothes rack or a voluptuous/curvaceous body with large breasts.
Of course...this is only a very very general description of what the modern world considers attractive. Don't fault me for being brief...I am too lazy to go into details.

But in some cultures (or even normal people), contrary to this "modern" perspective of attractiveness, people who are different to this 'template' (aka, being a little on the weighty side or just being different) are considered more desirable than the stick-insect-looking women or the "Adonis" male.

This is only the physical side of things of course.
Caught Part 2 on tele a few days ago of "Dr Tatiana's Guide to Sex for All Creatures" and it was interesting what she had brought up. Human beings are the only creatures in this world that attributes more than just physical makeup and the urge to find the best Genes for their offspring when choosing their mates.

So why are humans needing of more than just physical prowess or dominance or even just good Genes to be with someone? Is it a sub-conscious realisation that physical superiority during the phases of courtship will eventually fade with time? (Come on! that young tight body of your significant other will almost definitely disappear with age) Or is there a deeper need to fill an emotional space that animals might not experience or prioritise?

Makes good reflection material I think.
Of course there are people who still conform to their animalistic urges and you see them ending up with their perfect physical specimens despite their partners' lack of intelligence, morals or even common decency. Maybe they are acting on something more primal and instinctual. The need to find the strongest of the lot out there.
Ironically, the world is slowly becoming one of mental power and not physical.
Back in the stone age...physical prowess definitely "ruled them all" but today...the computer nerd back in school will probably own the company you work in.

So what makes a person attractive to you? Maybe it's time to think about what you really want. A scene from Ugly Betty made an impact on me. It was when someone pointed out that he was not as attractive as the model in the room, but what you see there (pointing at the model) will become this (points at himself) in 20 years. It just so happens that he got there first.
Cool huh? :P

What do I find attractive? That's the question I asked myself this whole morning. Pushing past the list of physical attributes (I should be the last to even make a list...I'm not exactly Brad Pitt here...but oh well), I realised the most important thing to me is to feel like I am actually wanted. If a woman makes it clear that she wants me, for me and for me to be there, DAMN!!! that is attractive. Maybe it points to other issues I face but hey...it's who/what I am.


Lottery Win

Hahaha...not THAT dramatic naturally.
But I won my first lottery ticket today!
A whole, full, bunch of money that amounts to.....33 dollars!
I know I know....anti-climatic.
So what?
It's my first win.
You gotta take your small wins as serious as your big ones right?
33 today...10 Million tomorrow!


I am on YouTube!

Haha...this is just shameless self-promotion.
But I did 2 vids and they are:

This one I did first as a test for my webcam...and it came out good-ish.
But I am not satisfied with the voice...I think I suck.

Cover of Michael Buble - Everything

And this I did last night after asking Justin to record a slower piano acoustic version of the backing track.
A little better but still not satisfactory...will continue working

Cover of Thirsty Merc - 20 Good Reasons


The Fine Line

Sometimes I wonder about many things. To be honest...I dont even know why I am writing this entry. Just felt the need to write something.

This weekend was eventful. Lindsay went to Melbourne. Nadia had her housewarming party. The Singapore Club had its AGM. And I got myself Guitar Hero 3 for the Wii after trying it out at Joel's. Eventful yes...but somehow it felt empty. And this was REALLY felt this evening.

Sitting alone in my living room watching Harry Potter on DVD. Maybe its meeting Robin and Yenny when I had dinner with Justin and Alan on Sat night, friends of Alans but they live in the same building. They mentioned that they loved to watch DVDs together. They are married by the way. Hahaha.

And I was so looking forward to this weekend when I got the whole apartment to myself. Heh. And it was fun for the most part. But I guess the alone time got a little too much for me. Sigh. I find the need to be around people all the time very taxing and tiresome but no one can be alone all the time. Well...most people anyways.

I still seek...companionship I suppose...


Exercise Plan Formalised and Review

Finally sat down and thought through what I intend to do for the next few weeks to get into shape.
Came up with the above.
I hope it all works out.


Gym Time: Epilogue

My arms hurt...it takes a lot more effort than usual just to raise them to do anything.
Hahaha...I guess it means the workout is working.
Even went for a session of cardio...daaaaaaaamn.
So tired....so sleepy....hope it gets easier...

Gym Time

Time for the Gym...just wanna rant...


SQ Woes

OMG...Tried to get my tickets back to Brisbane from my Stint in SG in about 7-8 weeks and can't get any till the 29th of JAN!!!!
This is bad...REALLY bad...My office probably re-opens on the 14th.
OH NO!!!!
*runs around insanely*

That's 2 weeks late!!!
Why didn't I just buy the tickets earlier and change the date as required?

Last night wasn't much help either because the Brisbane office was closed and the SG office had their phonelines engaged the whole night.
At least I got the Brisbane branch to put me on a waiting list for the 13th this morning.
But that's no guarantee!!!

But I DID have an interesting revelation.
"IF" I REALLY had to return by the 14th...I could theoretically upgrade my ticket to business class. The income I will have lost for not being here for 2 weeks could probably cover back the amount I need to top up the ticket.
That's a BIG "IF".

We'll see how events unfold la.
This is the first of my "OMG" moments this holiday season and I didn't want it to start this badly....siiiiiiigh

Leaf, Tree and Wind

Found this on CBB and just wanted to share. (Had to make grammar and spelling corrections -_- ROFL)

People called me “Tree”.

I had dated 5 girls when I was in Pre-U. There is this one other girl whom I loved a lot but never dared to go after. She didn’t have a pretty face, a good figure or an outstanding charm. She was just a very ordinary girl. I liked her. I really liked her. I liked her innocence, her frankness, her intelligence and her fragility.

The reason for not going after her was because I felt somebody so ordinary like her was not a good match for me. I was also afraid that after we were together, all the feelings would vanish. I was also afraid that gossip from other people would hurt her. I felt that if she became my girl, she’ll be mine ultimately & I wouldn't have to give up everything just for her. This last reason, made her stay around for 3 years. She watched me chase other girls, and I have made her heart cry for 3 years.

She was a good actor, and I was a demanding director. When I kissed my second girlfriend, she bumped into us. She was embarrassed but smiled & said, “Go on!” before running off. The next day, her eyes were swollen like a walnut. I did not want to know what made her cry. Later that day, I returned from soccer training and found her crying in the classroom for an hour or so.

My fourth girlfriend did not like her. There was once when both of them quarreled. I know that, based on her character, she is not the type that will start the quarrel. However, I still sided with my girlfriend. I shouted at her & ignored her feelings and walked off with my girlfriend. The next day, she was laughing & joking with me like nothing happened. I know she was hurt but she did not know deep down inside I was hurt too.

When I broke up with my fifth girlfriend, I asked her out. Later that day, I told her I had something to tell her. I told her about my break up. Coincidentally, she has something to tell me too, about her getting together with someone else. I knew who the person was. His pursuit for her had been the talk of the School. I did not show her my heartache, just smiles & best wishes. Once I reached home, I could not breathe. Tears rolled & I broke down.

How many times have I seen her cry for the man who did not acknowledge her presence?

During graduation, I read an SMS on my hp. It said, “Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay?”


People called me Leaf.

During my 3 years of Pre-U, I was on very close terms with a guy. However, when he had his first girlfriend, I learnt a feeling I never should have learnt - Jealousy. They were only together for 2 months. When they broke up, I hid my happiness. But after a month, he got together with another girl.

I liked him & I know he liked me. But why didn’t he pursue me?
Since he loves me why didn’t he make the first move? Whenever he had a new girlfriend, my heart would hurt. After some time, I began to suspect that mine was one-sided love.
If he didn’t like me, why did he treat me so well? It was beyond what you will normally do for a friend. I know his likes, his habits. But his feelings towards me I never figured out. You can’t expect me, a girl, to ask him. Despite that, I still wanted to be by his side - care for him, accompany him, and love him. Hoping that one day, he will come to love me.

Because of this, I waited for him. Sometimes, I wondered if I should continue waiting. The pain, the dilemma accompanied me for 3 years.

At the end of my 3rd year, a junior started pursuing me. Everyday he chased me. He was like a cool & gentle wind, trying to blow a leaf off a tree. Eventually, I realized that I wanted to give this Wind a small footing in my heart. I know the Wind will bring the Leaf to a better place. Finally, Leaf left the Tree, but the Tree only smiled & didn’t ask the Leaf to stay.

Leaf’s departure is because of Wind’s pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay?


I liked a girl called Leaf. But because she was so dependent on Tree, I would have to be a gust wind. A wind that will blow her away.

When I first met her, it was 1 month after I was transferred to this new school. I saw a petite person watching my seniors & I playing soccer. During ECA time, she will always be sitting there. Be it alone or with her friends, looking at him. Whenever he talked to other girls, there was jealousy in her eyes. Whenever he looked at her, there was a smile on her face. Just like her watching him, watching her became my habit as well.

One day, she didn’t appear. I felt something missing. I can’t explain the feeling except that it was a kind of uneasiness. The senior was also not there as well. I went to their classroom, hid outside and saw my senior scolding her. Tears were in her eyes while he left. The next day, I saw her at her usual place, looking at him. I walked over and smiled to her. Took out a note & gave it to her. She was surprised. She looked at me, smiled & accepted the note. The next day, she appeared & passes me a note and left.

It read, “Leaf’s heart is too heavy and the wind couldn’t blow her away.”

“It’s not that Leaf's heart is too heavy. It's because Leaf never wanted to leave Tree.” I replied her note with this statement and slowly, from that day on, she started to talk to me & accept my presents & phone calls. I know that the person she loves is not me but I have this belief that one day I will make her like me.

Within 4 months, I have declared my love for her no less than 20 times. Every time, she will sway away from the topic, but I never gave up. I decided that I want her to be mine and I will definitely use all means to win her over. I can’t remember how many times I have declared my love to her. Although I know, she will try to avoid it, I still held onto a small ray of hope.

Hoping that she will agree to be my girlfriend, I finally asked her over the phone one day. There was silence over the phone so I asked, “What are you doing? How come you didn’t want to reply?” And she said, “I’m nodding my head”. “Ah?” I replied. I couldn’t believe my ears. “I’m nodding my head”, she replied loudly. I hang up the phone, quickly changed and took a taxi to rush to her place. When she opened the door, I hugged her tightly.

Leaf's departure is because of Wind pursuit. Or because Tree didn’t ask her to stay…

Didn't do too much editing...just enough to make the story logical.
So what do you think of the 3 characters? Can you relate to any of them?

Reading this took me back to secondary school...when all this was commonplace among friends. And in some ways...with some people now...it still happens daily.
How stupid are we if we never learnt from the mistakes this story highlights about our lives?

So who do you want to end up?
Leaf?...Tree?...or Wind?


Life Changes Life

Its been a while since I wrote again (well...a week actually).
I guess it takes more than just events to get me writing regularly.
Sometimes you just need to...'feel' the words...you know?
Anyways...I digress...

Quite a few things have happened over the past week.
There was the BBQ on Saturday afternoon to celebrate Jeff's bday.
Justin and I finally hammered down an arrangement for 20 Good Reasons that I am gonna use for my album.
And last night, we went to Il-Centro to celebrate Lindsay's bday.
All THAT...among other things.

I know I know...I still haven't written about the Dinner @ AC&UM's, the SSA Lawn Bowls nor the Hari Raya dinner. Hmm...Maybe I should update on that...but it'll make this post too long. Hahaha...I'll shelve it again.

So what has happened? Let's see.
On Saturday we had a little BBQ over my mine to celebrate Jeff's bday. Mervyn and I thought that it is a good idea to gather some friends over as well to have a mini-gathering at the same time. We had just enough food...it was amazing. I think there were a couple of steaks left (which Merv left in my fridge...still there btw) that we didn't cook but compared to past events...this was great. We all ate our fill definitely.
Photos to come soon.

On Sunday, after watching Matt on Aussie Idol do his version of 20 Good Reasons, I finally decided on the style of songs I want for the album.
Laid back and relaxed acoustic.
So I had a word with him online and we decided to give it a go on Monday night. Which we did. And without jumping the gun too much, I thought it turned out very nice. All we gotta do is work out a few more songs and hopefully...we'll start recording again soon. Hopefully there won't be a need for too much post-production as well.
Target: Still Christmas.

And last night was the best la...went to Il-Centro for dinner. Lindsay bought herself a bottle of Champagne and shared it with Nadia, Joel and myself.
Mmmmmm.....taste of the rich....hahaha.
It was good fun and good foooooooooooooooooood.
OMG...the Kangaroo Striploin I had was to die for!
And it wasn't gamey...tt's the best part. Usually when I prepare my own Kangaroo steaks...it turns out gamey. But still nice of course. ;)
We came back after dinner and had cake (to Lindsay's horror).
Didn't go to bed till 1am cos I was sitting in my room after that practicing singing. HARD WORK!
Photos to come as well.

But all that came to a minor halt when I woke up this morning feeling, firstly, bloated...the dinner was too rich I think...hahaha. And secondly, depressed cos of waking up alone after a fun night. But of course...it didn't come out of no where. There is always a reason. This time...it was finding out some...news from back home.

Through my various sources (can't reveal it else it'll be too obvious), I found out that the girl I mentioned a while back...the definitive crush of my life...is engaged. (crowd: GASPS! Oh dear!)
YES! That also lead up to the definitive punch to my gut.
I guess taking it into perspective...it shouldn't matter cos I chose not to tell her about my feelings back then. And even then...it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways. She was the gorgeous super-smart girl that everyone loved. I was the fat, loud and untalented fool (not to mention...not very smart) who was silently infatuated with her.

That said...it still hurts to know that she is probably gone from reach...forever. I can't control it. It just does. I'd wish it away if I could...but that's just wishful thinking. Like all so many of my other stupid emotions that I experience on a daily basis. :(

Hug me to make me feel better?


The one compared to a summer's day

A scene from a movie popped into mind just now.
It is a scene from the movie "It's a Boy-Girl Thing".
Another chick flick about 2 people who swapped bodies.
Haha...but that's not important.
It's the line in the movie that struck me.
There was a scene when the 'girl' was teaching the 'guy' who was in her body about Shakespeare.
"Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?"
I never knew that it meant "You are HOT!"
Haha...interesting isn't it?

I've always wondered how things might have turned out if I took English Literature on a tutor's advice instead of Geography back in Junior College.
For one thing, I'll be in a different class.
Cos my class was strung together because of Geography; the common subject.
With Geog, Econs and Maths C, I would've been in Arts3 instead of Arts4.
Don't think there was a Geog, Lit and Maths C combination back then.
Anyways...the people whom I called classmates would've been different and things might have turned out VERY differently indeed.

Aside from the minor changes here and there...I probably wouldn't have gotten myself injured back then playing in the inter-class tournaments.
I wouldn't have been placed into Pes C in the Army and become an army Mechanic.
I wouldn't have met the people who would've influenced my decision to come to Australia to study.
Hell...I might not even have needed to come to Australia.
I wouldn't have met the people here, stayed here and become the person I am today.
I would have continued after the NUS orientation camp (which I attended 'illegally') the friendships I made in those few days.
Among them might have been the girl I might spend the rest of my life with.
But that said...being here...I might be on my way to meet this girl still.

Life would've been extremely different, come to think of it.
If I never left Singapore, I might still be that naive boy who doesn't question things when they happen or when they are told to me.
I wouldn't question that people should be treated equally, no matter Race, Creed, Religion EXCEPT Sexual Orientation. (Geddit? Hahaha)
I fact...I think if I stayed in Singapore, I might be one of those people who stays in church all the time and never questioning the 'wisdom' of the church.
WOW...I can't imagine myself being that person.

A flap of a little butterfly's wings can truly and possibly create a hurricane at the other end of the world.

And guess what?
I might NEVER have found out what the phrase "compare thee to a summer's day" meant.


New 'Shoutbox'

Well...it is Cbox now.
It looks better than the old one.
And I realised most people use this one anyways.
So comon! Post something...

Going to write about my past weekends soon...


Mo' Photos and B-O-W-L-ing

Group Photo 3
Originally uploaded by nuttytentacle

So some new photos as usual. (Damned I am a camera nut)
Lets see...

Dinner at AC&UM's -> http://www.flickr.com/photos/nuttytentacle/tags/makanatacandums/

Bare Foot Bowls with the students -> http://www.flickr.com/photos/nuttytentacle/tags/2007octstudentsbarefootbowls/

Hari Raya Dinner @ SONG! -> http://www.flickr.com/photos/nuttytentacle/tags/dinneratsong/

I am not going to blog about the events tonight la.
Too tired.
Will do so very soon.
But enjoy the photos!


Emmy Madness



Bollywood English

Oh dear...hahaha...Madiq sent me this last night and it was soooo farnie.

Then tonight...on CBB...someone else posted this next vid.

Both are from the same person on Youtube but HAHAHA...talk about coincidence siah.
Plus they're REALLY farnie.
Sigh...my I got headache from laughing.


The Weekend Away

Ah...the weekend was over so quickly.
I have to say...this has been one of the better weekends for a long while.
Had to purposely push all appointments away to really enjoy myself.
Looking back...it was one of the best decisions I made.

So Friday Joel had his housewarming.
It was fun. It was...surreal even.
Hahaha...no crazy parties or loud banging music.
More chilling and sitting around talking about nonsense and watching crap on Youtube.
His friends are fun to hang around with.
Different indeed.
No doom and gloom and all the positive energy is good.
I felt recharged somewhat.
Not to mention learning a new way to enjoy Sambuca.

The girls wanted to go test out the pool at Joel's apartment building so we ended up there after lunch at Elevator32.
It was good to finally be back in the pool after so long.
I felt good in the water.
I feel lighter. ROFL.
But when I jumped into the pool, my faithful watch finally chucked it in and died.
Well...more like the watch frame cracked and the strap came off one end.
8 yrs ok!
But this just means I get to buy myself a new watch...heheh.

And so I did...on Sunday.
After church (of which I went early), I dropped by Fossil @ Queens Plaza and got myself this sweet little toy.

Fossil FS-4154

It is one large watch but I like it.
The weight makes it feel solid.
Confidence building indeed.

So ends a great (albeit quick) weekend.
I need more of these.
We'll see.


Singapore Community Day 2007 - Brisbane

Find the rest @

Finally got time to upload the photos I took on my tiiiiny camera from the Makan Besar this past Sunday.

So we started off the day REALLY early (obviously...look at the 2 guys yawning their hearts out above). The students from NSW took the free bus from the city over to Yatala, where the Makan Besar was taking place. I went in Alan's car but we made sure all the students were all set before setting off from the city at the same time.

The day before was very...momentous...as well. (For me at least)
Woke up really early (for a weekend) to meet the NSW students for breakfast. It was fun getting to know another bunch of like-minded Singaporeans again. Making new friends in a relaxed environment always helps break the monotony of the weekly routine.

Alan and I introduced Brisbane (well...talked about it mostly la) to the students and roughly told them what to expect over the next 2 days and where to find certain places on the map. We then let them on their way and proceeded home for a short rest.

BUT my personal 'adventure' didn't end that morning. Some #%@^!%$@ was moving into/out of my apartment building and dropped a plank (presumably a door from a cupboard) through the opening in front of the lift and broke open a sprinkler head within the elevator shaft. Thus flooding the elevator wells.

BOTH the lifts were out of service.
Come on...you can't expect me to climb up 24 floors without seriously incurring some sort of injury no? :S
So I waited...went back into the city to shop a little...bought some 'provisions' at Formosa...went to the building's podium level (the hydraulic lift still worked) and waited. I almost went to the formal dinner that evening dressed like I did in the morning: in shorts and sandals. O_O

Fortunately, the lifts were repaired at 5pm (after a 5hr wait) and I rushed home, got changed, and rushed for the dinner. Fortunately, the dinner was GOOOOD. That helped make the rest of the day seemed worth it. After dinner, the NSW students went off to do their own thing while I was stuck in the restaurant, 'forced' to join in the Karaoke. SIGH!!! I REALLY don't like to be pressured into singing. It should be voluntary and fun no? :P

Anyways...back to Sunday.
Scene: Yatala
After a simple registration and coercion to buy raffle tickets (it was for charity anyways), the event proper started off.


Registration Ladies (Eileen & Christine)

Raffle Ladies (mental note:gotta remember their names!)

As usual, speeches followed but fortunately...they were short and sweet.
Not before long, the food was ready.


And the queuing began again.

Everyone enjoying food from Singapore

There was a short break between the makan and the much awaited Raffle draw scheduled craftily near the end of the day's program.
The organisers arranged SGian games and a movie for the people who hung around.

Carom...ah...the memories

Chinese Chess

Card Games

And even indoor soccer

We even had Durian ok! (which Alan happily 'volunteered' to open)


Finally, the Raffle draw came along and many people were rewarded with prizes and lotsa fun poking fun at the winners. (even I won something; ok...it was only a consolation prize).

And so ended a fun-filled day.
People slowly filtered out of the event grounds.
The silence replaced the whispering and shouting voices that filled the open area.

It was definitely tiring. The volunteers worked hard to distribute the (FREE) food to the people, the 4 wonderful ladies that helped with registration and raffle draw, the organisers who brought everything together, and the people who came down to make this whole event a success.

Next year it'll be held somewhere else but who can ever forget this day we had.
Coming together because we are Singaporeans and to spend a wonderful day together. (hopefully not just for the food)

So here's to a great event and the memories that came with it.

The students & Alan
Why wasn't I in the photo? Was taking the photos la


Where Are You My Love

Not really a poem but more like a letter to the one I am destined to be with:

Where are you my love?
I am still waiting for you.
Have we met already?
Are you already by my side?
I yearn for you everyday.
Waking up every morning is torture without you by my side.
That sweet look you have when you are asleep.
I kiss you on your forehead as I brush off that stray hair.
Realising you are finally in my arms, I tighten my embrace.
I am the luckiest guy in the world to have found you.
Have you found me?
Why can't I see you yet?
Where are you?
Do you even exist?
The person who will love me as much as I will love you.
Never to let go.
Every moment spent without you is a torture.
And so I am a tortured soul wandering day after day.
Waiting for us to meet.
Have we met?
Do we already know each other?
Why do I ask this, you wonder?
Until destiny brings you to me, to be the eternal matchmaker for us, with the right scene, the right time and the right words, we have not met.
I loved you even before I met you.
Because I know the value of love.
Will we meet eventually?
Till then I will wait...For the day we finally find each other.

My Per...per....personality

Click to view my Personality Profile page

Hmm...not much has changed since the last I took this.



So...with the advent of the new comment system, I will now ask for comments to give you a reason to use it. Hehehe.

The question is, aside from this Blog being a personal diary of sorts, what else do you want to see featured here?

- Interviews with people in Brisbane?
- More techno babble?
- Post interesting links to news that might interest you?
- If so, what news interests you?
- More photos (well...supply of photos depends on what I do during the week)
- More reflective pieces?

Well...come on! Help a guy out!
Tell me what I can include to make this place more interesting.

New Comment System

Found a little bit of an upgrade that I applied to this place with some annoyance.
My comment system is now a plugin of sorts.
When you click on the comments link, it'll pop up a PHP (I think) window for you to enter the comment.
Good stuff!
It looks....cool...hahaha.

Anyways...try it out.
And if you want the instructions for it...I got it somewhere.


Embrace the 'Now' - A message to everyone I know

Sounds like a self-improvement tagline or something someone would say at a religious retreat no?
But this thought just popped into mind and I thought to share it with you.

From the looming possibility of escalated conflict and war around the world to the preached chaos spear-headed by people who do not and will not accept people different from themselves, it seems petty and childish for ourselves to focus on our own little conflicts and disagreements.

What I am proposing is for you to make up with one person with whom you have a disagreement with (be it a fight, an argument, or even a seething hatred) and close that distance between the 2 of you.
Be the gracious one,
Be the first to apologise
Be the first to extend a hand of friendship
Be the first to give a hug
Be the first to perform an unexpected act of kindness
Be the first to accept the other person despite their short-comings (you have them too)

If everyone started with these or something similar), we wouldn't have all these conflicts around us. The world might end tomorrow because some over zealous fool presses the red button. So why leave for tomorrow something you can fix today, before it might be too late.

I am not trying to be religious or self righteous, the next step IS yours and yours alone.
But for me...I am going to try and be nicer to people around me and extend my Love to them as I hoped to be Loved in return.


Singing a Silent Serenade into an Empty Hall

It feels like that right now...my life.
Pointless...silly...to the point of stupidity.
Events of the past few days have brought me to this point again.
A period of self-reflection...deep reflection.
What do I want out of my life?
What am I doing?
Why am I torturing myself?

People are moving forward and I seem to be standing here...watching my friends and family move onto their future. I don't feel like I am moving forward. Well...maybe I am, but it just doesn't feel that way.

Who have I had contact with over the past few days that has provoked this sudden burst of runaway emotions?...let's see...
Justin, whom I had a good long conversation with about stuff happening all around us.
Alicia, who came up from Sydney for a short break. A person who has been moving forward at incredible speed since she left Brissy.
Namit, who is about to enter into a new phase in his life and throttled me to reflect more about what the hell I am doing, or not doing, with my life.
And even Moses, whom I haven't spoken to in a long long while but I read his last entry in his Friendster blog and it got me thinking as well.

The missing ingredient to my daily recipe of 'excitement' and 'adventure'?
I lack change.

I look at myself now, and compared it with myself 2 yrs ago.
Not much has changed.
Well...I don't think much has changed.
The body is creaking a little bit more, a lot more sore spots and that's about it.
My mind and emotions haven't really gotten a good positive kick-start.
My body (although I have sort of started a loose diet plan), still hasn't changed (improved).
My career is still the same as when I started. Ok la...got almost 2 yrs working experience under my belt now but still...it feels sorta stagnant.

I really do miss the times when change was rampant and compulsory. Back in the days of Uni. There was little choice in the matter.
People will arriving as fast as they were leaving Brisbane.
There was almost always another event from either SSA or the other Unis.
Emotions were running high, and crazy.

Now...well...it just feels............GREY.

Am I asking for too much?
Doesn't everyone feel sort of the same?
Or am I just imagining it?

I don't particularly enjoy change, but in the midst of a REAL lack of it, withdrawal sets in. It becomes a drug that your day-to-day cannot deal without.
I need to meet new people?
Feel alive again?
To be needed again?
Feel loved?
All of the above?


Saturday @ Work

Haha...so sad...I am actually in the office right now.
Copying some work files for more work later in the weekend.
Need to rush a few jobs la.

So bored.

Alicia flew up from Sydney this weekend for some R&R. Last night we all met up at Joel's for dinner and she brought a friend over.
The world is so small...her friend turned out to be the older sister of a friend of mine from CJC...haha...talk about coincidence la. Madness.

Anyways...just wanted to drop in a rant or two here before heading back to getting some work done.

Leaving soon to have lunch with Justin.
Then off to a meeting with the Singapore Club.
I wonder what to do tonight...work? Or go find something to do...KTV?
HAHAHA...see how la.


Delta Wowee!!!

Delta Goodrem's new song: In This Life

She looks great and sounds as lovely as ever!!!

Feast of Love

This is the link to the music video.
The old style seemed to hang some browsers (IE sucks)



Oops..realised I didn't include the name of the song.
It's 'Honestly' by the Cary Brothers
Gotta watch this movie!


True Friend Test

Come Come...do do...its below the Shout Box on the left --->


Song: Sen no Yoru wo Koete

This is the link to the song.
The old style might be crashing some browsers (IE Sucks)


This song is for you.
The words I want to say to you.
But perhaps never could.
If you ever find out what it says, you'll know what my hearts yearns to shout out.



ARGH....stomach is complaining ah!!!

Ok...so I havent been blogging as promised

Haha...the title kinda self-explains this entry.
And yes...I DID mention I will TRY to write every 2 days minimum?
That makes the last supposed day to be Thursday last.
Oh well...better late than never I say.

Nothing really exciting happened during the week though.

The diet shakes are doing their thing and keeping me full during breakfast and lunch.
Kinda made up a plan for the whole change.
Gonna try this meal replacement shake regime loosely for about a month, just to get used to it.
For now...I'll be following the recommendations of the plan loosely.
I will just eat like I have been eating normally for that one normal meal of the day.
In a month's time, I will go stricter on myself and actually control the amount of carbs I take. (According to the explanation) This will make my body EAT itself...haha...well...more like using the stored fats and stuff and using that as the main source of carbs instead of the rice, noodles, etc that I usually consume.

Target? 1KG a week. Hopefully more at the start. So I guess an average of 1KG a week.
And hopefully I can maintain this for a year. So that's 52KG by next Oct? I'll be almost my perfect weight for my height.
Optimistic! Stay Optimistic!

Gonna get started on the exercise as well. Little by little of course. Swimming first I think. Then some light gym work soon after. Gotta get my arms back to my old strength, like when I was in the Army. Hehehe...strong arms are GOOOOD!

So WHY the sudden interest in getting healthier suddenly?
I want to say its for my health and to satiate the people who love and care for me.
But that is not really the case I guess.
Its a little vain and sad to some (but who cares), but its really about getting myself a girlfriend.
So...secondary school eh?
I sorta just decided to screw the 'personality will overcome' and 'looks doesnt really matter' malarchy.
Nobody is gonna even look at my personality if I can get someone to consider being with me without feel disgusted by how I look.
So there you go...a simple reason.

Back to the updates...nothing exciting happened until Friday night.
Alan had 2 friends arrive from SG who are migrating to Australia. So together with Justin and Lindsay, we decided to take them to that Thai place that Mervyn brought me on Tues. The curries were soooooo good la. Makes me regret starting my diet now. LOL.

After dinner, we dropped by Mount Coot-tha to show them around. PLUS Jamie & Sylvia just arrived in Brissy for a short holiday, so we met them there as well to catch up. It was fun.

So now comes the all dramatic part (well...not really). Came home around 12, I tooted around the living room for a bit, watched some J-Dramas, played Facebook, and went to bed @ 2am while Lindsay continued to stay awake for the Rugby World Cup Opening. I had planned to wake up to watch the match as well but I ended up waking @ 5.30am, 30 mins into the first half.

Everyone was already in the living room. Haha...Chris, Lindsay, Nadia and Damien, and Kristofer (Damien's friend). I looked like a zombie walking into the living room la. Lucky they didnt mind (it IS my apartment no? :P). The opening match between France and Argentina was goooood. Argentina won but it was close. So close. Its a good sign for things to come this RWC.

Chris, Lindsay, Nadia and me had breakkie at Jeremy's after. Niiiice. Poached eggs, with Hollandaise over a slice of sour dough plus a sausage on the side. Almost the perfect breakfast if not for the terrible Chai I had. :P
Went straight to bed after that. Woke up @ 2, cleaned up the living room a bit, watched Torchwood on my PC for the rest of the afternoon until I went for mass. Didn't want to risk missing it tomrw if I couldn't wake up. Had dinner with Alan and his 2 friends (Robin and I cannot remember his wife's name again...SORRY!!!). Mervyn also joined us at the end. Ending the night, we went to 3 Monkeys and Justin joined us eventually as well after his dinner with his mom for her Bday.

All in all, a great few days I think.
New Zealand THRASHED Italy and Australia THRASHED Japan even more.
Yaaawn...its late. I should go to bed.
Tomrw night we're going for out for dinner again...I need to stock up more shakes!
Hahaha...gdnight people.
Have fun blogging!


SAM, Photos and Thai Food

No...its not a missile platform...my Samsung Q1 arrived!!!
Finally got it when it arrived yesterday at the office.
But getting the wireless at home to work with it has caused me grief and a late night yesterday.
It still is giving me alot of problems but I shall prevail and overcome.

Today has been quite exciting.
Started the day normally and finally decided to give the Celebrity Slim meal replacement shakes a go during lunch.
Not bad. Tried the chocolate flavoured shake.
It was nice....very nice...but the quantity makes sense, very very little.
It IS supposed to be for a diet.
I am supposed to replace 2 major meals (breakkie and lunch) out of a planned 6 mini meals in a day.
A small healthy snack between breakfast and lunch and one more before dinner.
But I dont think I'll be following that diet to the 'T'.
Will just replace lunch and a few breakfasts in a week.
And supplement with exercise.
Maybe I CAN change my lifestyle...albeit a little slower.

Then as the day came to a close at the office, I logged onto my Flickr account to have a check for comments. And to my surprise, I found 2 new ones.
Both invites to post 2 of my photos on a community group.
Yay! I am happy.
I am still an amateur when it comes to photography but it definitely feels good to be acknowledged sometimes.

So dinner time came.
It was pouring when I left the office so it took me forever to get to Chinatown, where I planned to meet Mervyn for dinner at a Thai Cafe that was run by his friends.
Hahaha....anyone wants to go? Just drop me a line and we'll go!
They have KUAY CHUP!!!!!!
Ok ok...gotta stay in control...diet! Diet! DIET!
Anyways...it was great having dinner with Mervyn. Always a great time to be had.
Too bad we dont do it enough.
He's too busy or I am instead.
But always cool when we do.

I guess those are the highlights of today.
I don't write enough I reckon...so I will TRY to report on daily (maybe 2xdaily) happenings here in good ol' sunny (although rainy and cold for now) Brisbane.

Debs returns to work tomrw and will resume her email terrorising.
Hahaha.....joking joking!


A Smack of Nostalgia

Couldn't fall asleep easy last night.
Didn't really get properly rested until about 2am?
That nap in the middle of the day really screwed with my internal clock...sigh

Anyways...While tossing and turning on my bed, a person came to mind.
Someone long ago in my past...I'd say 10 years at least?
Lets call her (yes...she's a girl) "MY".

A uncontrollable train of memories just came rushing down the tracks and hitting me smack in the face. It was so long ago.
How is she? What is she doing these days?
I know she probably still teaches Sunday School back home but I wonder if that has changed as well (beyond my ability to fathom).

Sigh...the biggest crush I had on this one back then. And it was all one sided all too naturally. I guess this is time for a little background update:

I joined up with Catechism classes one year later than my peers so it kinda ended up with me becoming the older student in the class. It was an interesting age. Teens were beginning to open up and the gender divide is slowing closing (ie. Girls and Boy dont sit seperately in class anymore). Well...aside from the 1st year when a nun was teaching us...boys sat one one side and the girls sat on the other.
But MY didn't come into the picture until a little later.

When she joined, she still was not Catholic. Just another girl going through the motions of getting Baptised and starting Sunday School. If I remembered clearly enough (which does not happen often), I was asked to make sure everything was ok with her (Sigh...being the older one in class was annoying at times). By this time I believe I was made unofficial leader of the boys cohort and Stacey was for the girls. This was to facilitate any joint activities we are supposed to have (So gang-like right?).

So the year went on but I naturally didn't feel anything for MY all this while. Just friends, we were. But one year...I cannot remember which...during the annual church camp, I started having feelings for her. I think she was in my group as well. Hazy memory sucks bad.
From then on, I held a silent flame for her. Trying to get to know her better but it never seemed to work out properly. Probably because of my awkwardness as a teenager when it came to girls I liked.

My silence continued on for the last few years of Catechism and even carried onto the Junior Catechists (which to my delight she decided to join as well). But that whole saga didn't pan out well either. I got involved more often with my JC activities and eventually, I decided to leave the Jr Cats. She joined up with the Catechists while I didn't have much time left for much else after enlisting for NS. After NS? I came straight to Brisbane and embarked on this new journey of my life.

All those years spent in quiet yearning for this person. I wonder how things might have turned out if I dared to tell her. If I dared to make myself known to her a little more, instead of being the quiet one. Although my heart has taken a turn ever since coming to Brissy, MY always had a small place in my silent heart.

She was the perfect being in my eyes back then.
Teenage Love
So...innocent...so tragic.
She will probably always remain the symbol of lost opportunity to me.
The graceful, happy, intelligent beauty that she was and probably still is.


Burn...burn the skies with fire and music

Brisbane River Festival 2007 - Riverfire
Originally uploaded by nuttytentacle

So here it is again...River Festival in good ol' Brisbane.
Missing people here.
Sigh...there are a few people I wish are here to share this with but I guess the photos are the only way I can share this with them.

If you wanna see the ones I picked out, go to my Flicker account and have a browse.

So today was sorta a slow but very busy day.
Started with lunch at Chinatown with Jeff and then back to our place for a movie, take-away from the Taj (we bought too much again), watched the fire works from my balcony (which is apparently quite a good place this year), Mervyn joining us after we put in Zoolander into the machine, Justin coming over just as I was uploading the photos.

Hahaha....it might sound boring but I was/AM so tired right now la.
Maybe it is cos of my allergies acting up...but hey...who cares. It was a night to remember and I had fun.

Lindsay bought a new coffee table for the living room so now most of the furniture in the living room fits a theme of sorts. Oh, did I mention Lindsay went with Nadia and Sonia to IKEA today for a browse? Haha.

So I am here now finally...sleepy and tired and about to retire. Nonetheless...I yearn for someone to share this moment with. (Well...more like when the fireworks were going off)
The one I wish was here isnt.
Sigh...wat a crappy feeling that is.
Maybe its just my blocked nose.


Lost Time (with my UMPC)

Sigh...I found out today that Fedex doesnt divert packages to Aussie Post if no one is at home.
You need to either divert the package to another address (which costs more money) or be home when they next come by.
So I went for the divert. Which costs $15 dollars more. Sigh...troublesome siah.
Plus that means I could have the Samsung Q1 in my hands now (maybe even blogging from it) if I had told the seller to send it to the office.

Mental Note: Always divert Fedex and UPS packages to the office

I am so bored...lucky got "Love Actually" on the tele and Nadia and Linds just came back with another CASE of Pure Blondes.
Hahaha...I cant drink....sick...UGH!!!!

Anyways...just needed to bitch...cant wait to get the Q1 in my hands.


Genesis of Self Harm

It usually starts with a word, an innocent word.
You ignored it at first but then it suddenly returns.
It festers in your mind and before you know it, you are focusing on the bad things it represents.
You become conscious of it.
You try to snap out of it but only to bring about more painful memories.
The pain from your past suddenly re-surfaces.
In your gut.
In your chest.
Your heart starts to beat faster, faster than it should.
A headache sets in.
Pain grips your chest; you can't breath.
Tears well up on the sides of your eyes.
You just want it to end.
You don't want to remember the pain.
Every instance of rejection floods your thoughts.
Things you thought you got over but now they bulldoze over the little bit of sanity left in you.
It's illogical but it feels as real as the hands in front of you.
You feel tired...your chest still feels tight.
Self doubt sets in hard.
You aren't good enough for anyone.
No one will ever love you.
You'll forever be alone.
You can no longer control the tears from falling.
You want it to end.
And then you see the blade sitting on the table...

Portablilty Rocks! (?)

So...got a new craze recently.
Got into researching portable computers and I came across something I read up once long long time ago: Small-form computers.
Or in this day and age, Ultra Portable PCs (UMPCs).

I cannot remember clearly but OQO probably made the first ultra portable PC that I have ever seen on the Internet.
But look how far this market has moved on since then (probably around 2002 when I first found out about them).

How did I end up in this huge hole of excitement? I stumbled across a set of websites that gave UMPCs lots of focus and well...I found their arguments for the UMPC's viability compelling. They are
and this blog

After hours of reading and watching videos introducing the different devices in the market and upgrading options for the crazed techie tweaker, I finally decided to get myself one to try out.

The one I finally decided to buy (and did purchase) is this one.

The Samsung Q1

A full 1GHz of processing power (now...for those who just went...WAT? SO LITTLE?...dont forget this is a small machine)
1GB DDR2 of RAM (which I'll upgrade to 2-3GB once I get a chance)
and a full 40GB HDD (which is comparable to a laptop)
The screen is small about the normal size for a UMPC, 7" across.
OH! Did I mention it was a Tablet? (Heh...here's to you Gavin!!!)

Its gonna be a great little toy for myself to tinker around with.
The lack of a keyboard is gonna be a drag but I guess that's the point.
The UMPC is supposed to be a bridge between a laptop and a PDA (which I both have but found impractical for lugging around everywhere I go).

Plus...if I really needed a keyboard, I'll just get a small Bluetooth PDA keyboard to pair up with the Samsung, which I'll probably name "ICIS-Portable" (in line with all my computers).

This doesnt just stop there. Talk about Pandora's Box.
Firstly...it'll be the above mentioned RAM and Bluetooth Keyboard.
Then I'll probably also try to get a cheap 2nd-3rd hand Fujitsu U1010, which is also another UMPC. Just so I can compare the 2 machines.

The Fujitsu U1010

So what else is in the near horizon?
There is another machine I might wanna try out but only if I can find a cheap one in a few months. It's the htc shift.

The htc shift

It has a built-in keyboard and is rated as one of the most promising devices and it is due to hit the streets in September.

I wonder if this is what I have been looking for.
A job that I might actually enjoy for the rest of my life.
A job that will allow me to test (and probably review) new gadgets that come out into the market. Give tips on tweaking and etc.
The dream job of a tech nut indeed.
Now I just need to get myself into that job.


Keeping my mouth shut

Its nights like these that remind me to keep my trap shut.
Dont say anything...dont get involved with anything.
Nothing good ever comes out of getting involved with something that doesnt concern you.


Why asian guys can't get white girls

ESP somewhere in the middle.
All those Russell Peters fans will know what I am talking about

Template Fixed

Ok...just a slight change to better utilize the space on the screen.

Added 200px to the width of the page.
Changed the corners to fit the new width by editing the graphics.

Geeky stuff but tt's what I do.

Rejection Woes

Sitting here hungry even though I just had my lunch.
A small pathetic nuked lunch.
But this isnt the reason I am a tad depressed.

I had a meeting with an insurance agent on Monday to discuss possible income protection that I can get. All seemed well. But he asked for my vitals. ie. Height and Weight.

This morning, he called to tell me that he cant find insurance agency that will cover me for income protection (this isnt even health insurance) because of my BMI. So yes!
Rejected again.

I should be used to it by now but it still feel like someone kicked me in the stomach nonetheless.

The solution is simple isnt it? Lost weight. DUH!
That is simpler said that than. I know I need a more extreme change but motivation is a pain.

Doesnt help when I dont have a "wingman" character in my life. Someone who will agree with me no matter what. Feeding words of support and angry words towards those who "attacked" me.
It is self indulgent, and pointless. But that doesnt discount the need to hear those words when you are down.


B Returns Home....Soon

Well...I am heading home...soon...well...not exactly.
Finally called SIA to change the date of my return flight.
So for those reading and for some reason is interested, I will be returning back home, to good ol' Singapore on

27th December 2007
and will arrive at

Got that?


New Layout

Well...got bored with the old all-blue site.
Picked another template that had a bit more colour and variety.
I think it's more pleasing.
Still feeling tired all the time.
Need to have a muse/distraction/movitator.
Yaaaawn...back to work.


Another Sickly Episode?

Feel totally shitty today.
Chucked a sicky to get out of going into the office.
Just my insides really feeling terrible.
Dunno why.
Maybe it is the food from last night? Can't be...the food was great and the other 5 people are all good.
Maybe it is my energy levels? On a down curve?
Or maybe even my emotional stability?
I really don't know.
But all I know is, it'll be over in a few days.
It always has.
Its just getting through this period.


Mark 6000 Visitors

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

6000 Visitors already to this site.
I mean...it isnt a huge number of course...I know of people with more visitors in the shorter period of time but never have I even imagined I could get to this number.
Hahaha...so pathetically proud.

So mark, since 15th March 2006 (1 Year, 5 Months less 2 days).
10K...here we come!

New Online Photo Album

I finally got myself a Flickr account.
Easy since I already have a Yahoo account.
It can be found @ http://www.flickr.com/photos/nuttytentacle/

But for those on the lazy side, you can find the National Day Ball photos here @
this link

Keep checking because I'll be adding more photos as I get them from Alan, Justin and whoever took photos last night.

Okies...going to bed now...tired and aching all over...[groan]


Wondering What To Do

What can I do now?
Took today off because I felt I was peaking my continuous work hours.

So what did I want to do?
- Collect my Jacket (sadly the stupid courier people didnt bring it in)
- Setup my "recording studio" in the living room
- Relax

But what have I been doing?
- Woke up a little later
- Had breakkie
- Entertaining Debs online
- Relaxing

What I intend to do?
- Have lunch
- Go walk walk in the city
- See if the post office has my package
- Search for the love of my life (HAHAHA....RIIIIIGHT)

Tomrw is so going to be insane la.
National Day Ball again.
It has been what?...6 already?
Going to be fuuuunnnnn...I hope
Have to take photos tomrw, how to enjoy?

More Quizzes...Sandwiches

You Are a Club Sandwich

You are have a big personality. It's hard for anyone to ignore you!
You dream big. You think big. And you eat big.
Some people consider you high maintenance, but you just know what you want... and when you want it.

Your best friend: The Tuna Fish Sandwich

Your mortal enemy: The Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwich


Details Here



Just another boring weekend

That is so far from the truth.
I have been busy this weekend.

One thing that I finally got down to doing is the update of the Singapore Club of QLD website. Installed Joomla on the server and now there is a new system for the content. Luckily, I am tasked to take care of one of the website at work that uses Joomla as well. Lucky me. So that's Friday for me.

Things really got exciting on Saturday. Went into the city to get the clothes for the National Day Ball. Quite excited really...got my new shirt, pants, and my hat. Wait for photos!!! Hahaha. Then in the evening, got the gang together for a dinner party. Spent a better part of the afternoon preparing a chicken curry, lamb cutlets, a special dressing for salad and a warm apple cinnamon drink. Mmmmmm. It was so fun and we watched "Date Movie" while we ate and spent time together. I love these gatherings. Like i mentioned to someone, they help make the loneliness easier to bear. ROFL

And today was quite slow. But it was great...just like I planned it.
Went to church at noon, had lunch with Nadia and Joel, went to JB Hifi and got myself a really overly discounted copy of NFS Carbon. Also picked up a glow egg that Debs mentioned before I think. Hehe...more mood lighting in the house...nice.
Anyways...came home to have a go at the new game; it isnt half bad. Justin came over for dinner and to pass me the tickets for the ball that I had to distribute to the people who bought them through me, and he brought a copy of the recording with some post production done on it. We're still not there yet but I sure hope the final product will be great.

So here I am now, sitting on the couch in the living room typing this on my laptop. Lindsay returns tomorrow and thus means this kinda lounging in the living room will be limited. But so wat? I had my couple days of the house to myself. It was fun, but boring. I need noise in the house...hahaha....typical city boy I am.


Almost Cheated




Almost got cheated this morning on my way to work.

Hopped onto a Yellow Cab from Albert Street to rush to work and once I got on, I saw the readout for the fare. It had "1.10 surcharge" already on before the driver pressed the button to start the fare.
Went about telling him how to get to my office as usual with that thought in mind.

When we finally got to my office, lo and behold, the fare jumped up by $1.10.
So I asked him, "I thought there wasnt a surcharge if you got onto a cab at a taxi stand?" and all he could reply was, "I dunno what happened". Well...something to that effect. I was pretty peeved by that time so I just told him the fare before the extras appeared, he seemed pretty compliant, naturally, since he just got caught out!

So people!
Becareful when you are in cabs. Always keep a lookout at your meter just in case there are some out to scam you. I mean $1.10 isnt a lot of money of course, but I dont like to be cheated, do you?
I still remember the cab number. Should I report this? Hmm...


The Journey Commences

So...the last Harry Potter book was 'released' yesterday at 9am AEST.
Having planned to wake up earlier and go down to Borders bookstore to line up for the book...things didnt happen as such naturally.

Had a relatively late night the night before at the final house party at Sehej's place.
So I ended up waking at 9am thinking "CRAP".
Went down within 15mins and found a line so long it ended at Satay Club.


Was totally annoyed la...so I ended up going for breakkie at KF, having some cravings since the night before.
Finished at around 9.45 and found the line just a little shorter: at Pane e Vino.

But it didnt stop there.
One of the staff from Borders came over and informed us that we were in the "Pickup" line and that we had to go finalise our orders.
So I rushed to the front of the shop, lined up at another queue which took forever to move, paid, went back to the long line (which by now fortunately had shrunk to where Night Owl was. And after a terrible 1hr of queueing, I finally walked out of Borders with my own copy of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows.

Rushed home and started reading...only to realise I needed to stop after 100pages that I needed to get ready for the Singclub meeting in the afternoon. UGH!
Stopped...did some work on the laptop, Justin arrived to pick me AC and Aunt Doris, had the meeting, dinner to celebrate Anthea's husband's birthday, and finally back home. Which was about 9.30 already I think.

Continued reading but eventually had to give up after another 300pages.

So finally at around 4.30am, at page 400, I gave in and went to bed.

This morning, I woke up around 11am but felt absolutely tired and sleepy. Dragged myself out of bed, packed my book in a pouch, and went off to church. (Such a journey indeed). Had lunch with Lindsay and Joel, went to Jeremy's, ordered a Chai and continuted with the book.

The 2 of them came and kept me company after they went for groceries but eventually left as well. Finally around 5.15pm, seeing that Jeremy's was about to close for the day, I packed up, and went home. Around page 525.
I was going nuts already.

Rushed back, got comfortable, jumped onto my bed and continued reading. The slowest 1.5hrs proceeded I slowed down my pace to fully absorb the last scenes described. And around 7pm, almost 36hrs (well...more like 32hrs but that doesnt sound dramatic) after I got the book in my hand, I finally closed the book in front of me, with my semi-sweaty fingers, Satisfied, Happy, Closure.


Finally Finished!!!
After almost 36hrs since I got the book, after being interrupted by so many things happening inbetween...I finished reading Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows!!!
I am so tired now...but in a weird way...very very satisfied.
Just cooked dinner and will go eat...will write about my journey after dinner.


Memorable Quote

Let me ask you something.
If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient?
If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous?
If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?

Thought provoking?

In-house Recording Studio

Hehe...all my equipment has arrived.
I can now do studio recordings in my own room!!!
Not to mention podcasting IF I really wanted to.
Hehe...too me forever to get it all working together.
Not to mention the lack of a serial number for the software that came with the sound interface for the computer.
But its all good now...just need to clear my table up for the devices to be laid out nicely.
Wonder when that'll happen.
Cannot log onto MSN from work anymore. Stupid proxy server.
Might need to find alternatives soon.


A (Fruit)ful Birthday

So I am finally 27...oh bother!
Closer to my expiry date? Hahaha.

So on my birthday I made plans to meet this really hot lady that I got to know recently and spent a beautiful day in each other's arms in front of a warm fire sipping champagne and nibbling on cheese and crackers.

RIIIIIIIGHT...like THAT really happened...ROFL

Here's what really happened:
Took the day off and spent the first half of it relaxing at home, waking up late and adhering only to my own schedule...BEST.

When I finally decided to get out of the apartment to get food, I met Andy on the street and had a short chat with him and parted only after making coffee plans with him for later in the day.

After that, I tried to get some food but all the lunch places were full and the Kebab store didnt have the chicken curry I love. So I ended up going back home to cook instant noodles topped with sardines...haha...not gourmet or anything but it was a good meal.

So I slacked around for a couple of hrs and went to meet Andy; met Alan on the street and asked him to join us as well. After that...I was so tired from the absolute boredom of the day that I took a 1hr nap. HAHAHA...so sad right?

And finally came the time for the planned dinner. Well...it was planned by Nadia of course. A surprise dinner. But I has sussed out parts of info from different involved parties that I already knew what was happening...hahahaha...I had more to say about the planning but the thought was greatly appreciated.

We went to Pier9 at Riverside for dinner; SEAFOOD :S
Had the in-house specialty Fish 'n' Chips. Very interesting with an oriental touch.
The food was good but I'd prefer Cha^3 but they were fully booked. So I still havent gone to Cha^3 yet...hehehe.

The cake that Mervyn brought was a Mango mousse cake. And he also got some smaller chocolate and strawberry variations from that french patisserie that he knows. On top of that...there were these luxurious chocolate eclairs that had chocolate filling as well....WAAAAAHHHHH!!!!

To finish off the day, we proceeded to 3 Monkeys for coffee and a chat.

Nothing exceptionally special but spending it with friends and loved ones made it great. Fruitful? I dunno...but it was fun...yeah...it was...wasnt it? :)


The Legendary Mic (Well...not really)

My RODE NT3 has arrived!!!
Now I just need the cables....mwahahahahaha!

A New Post Indeed

Oh dear!
I must have set off some weird form of following...people are hounding me to write an update. HAHA
But the thing is...thinking back...nothing THAT interesting has happened me thinks.
Lets see....

Nadia's House Party
A couple of weeks back, Nadia, Damien and Joel decided to have a house party on a Friday evening. Something about filling up their sink with ice and bottles of beer. ROFL...But we did have fun that night. I polished off 1/2 a bottle of wine plus an assortment of spirits(shots of tequilas) and cocktails(all made by Nadia); not to mention a glass of champagne.

MAN! was I totally out of touch with alcohol?! A couple of years back and that'll just be the starter drinks. That night I walked home feeling light-headed(but not drunk yet of course).
Point to note though...do not have too many snacks AFTER you had finished a large amount of alcohol. It makes you sick.

It had been a while since there was any parties or gatherings it was a great night to catchup. And it seems it'll be the last time we'll party there anyways. They are moving soon(Charlotte Towers issit?) cos the owner switched to short term leasing(which Lindsay reckons is a bad choice). Can't wait for the next party...I might even finish off a full bottle of wine.

Recording an Album
One idea that had been throw around for months before finally came to life when we(Justin and I) finally started on some recording for an album. The original idea was to just record a normal 8-12 track CD with a set of songs from different genres. But that has changed because I felt it might be a more fun endeavor to have it as a joint effort with others so it can be a fun project for everybody.

For now...the CD is due for release in Christmas...so all you guys...expect this to be your Christmas Pressies...lol...and don't think it is a cheap gift ok! Lotsa time and investment will have gone into it by then.

So at this point in time, we have recorded 3 songs in full. And Justin will have to showcase his talents in post production mastering to make me sound like a professional; even though I find my voice wanting. Hopefully we'll be able to rope in some people for duets and even boyband-ish stuff...ROFL.

Just a little pet project to keep us away from drugs, alcohol and all those bad habits in the midst of overwhelming boredom.

The New Work Year
July started a little over 1 week ago and I finally have to get into gear with life. Got a list of things I need to get done:

  1. Get private health cover (just done this afternoon ;) )
  2. Upgrade my phone (Which will arrive at my workplace tomorrow)
  3. Get Income Protection (Already submitted a quote request online)
  4. Taxes (Oh dear me...this one will kill me)
  5. Consider superannuation contributions to reduce taxable income (at first I thought that I can get some co-contribution from the govt as well but apparently, I earn too much to qualify...so it'll just be to reduce taxable income and retirement planning)
  6. Start driving lessons properly
  7. Get a cheap 1st car(or an expensive one to last me for a long time)
  8. Sign up for those dietary meal plans (which might not happen cos Lite'n'Easy only delivers on Tuesday and I am not at home...stupid)

I wonder whether I missed out anything in this list...

But anyways...esp with the tax issue...UGH!
I did a basic run through of my taxes and I realised that I will be digging into my savings to pay for this year's taxes. A little too slack with my planning this whole year. Might even need to hire a tax agent this year.

Got myself a cool new recording microphone, a desk stand and soon, the cables to run it into my computer...my Podcasting might actually go ahead finally...haha. So lookout for that!

Well...at least I am getting some parts of my life together.
Still feeling crappy in general of course...its like a background feeling already...always there but never hits hard enough to kill but not soft enough to ignore. Maybe there'll be some miracle that might happen soon?


A Cheery (Cherry) Farewell

So Sunday we went to to the Taj to have dinner to send off Cherry.
Everyone (I think) had a great time and tonight she leaves for good (with a possible exception for Graduation) from Brisbane.

It's feel weird having another person leave Brisbane again.
I wonder what will happen now onwards...

Anyways...the rest of the photos can be found at
http://s11.photobucket.com/albums/a199/nuttytentacle/2007 06 17 - Cherrys Farewell/

Cherry & Lania

So sweet together

Miss Glamorous

The Boyzzz

A Happy Host


Groupshot 1

Groupshot 2

Groupshot 3

Groupshot 4

Groupshot 5

Groupshot 6

Have a good flight home Cherry!!!
It has been great to have known you here in Brissy!!!

An Autumn BBQ

So...we had a BBQ in Autumn.
Haha...there was food...there was fun...there was chatting.
The rest...I'll let the photos tell the story.

The whole album can be found at
http://s11.photobucket.com/albums/a199/nuttytentacle/2007 05 02 - BBQ at Home/

My Tiramisu

Michelle & her Boi

The Chefs

Dawn & her Boi

The Happy Lady

Want more food?




Uneventful Days

Like there are such things.
Everyday is eventful...crazy even.
But cos so many thing are happening...I tend to get 'overwhelmed' and not write about it here...so please pardon me (esp those who go on abt me no writing here anymore...but very much appreciated)

So what has been happening?
I dont even know where to begin.
Just off the top of my head:
- Meeting with Contact Singapore
- iPod woes
- Weixin visiting
- Fire alarm going off in RC
- FLU!!!


So lets start off with the BBQ.
Actually...I think I'll skip the BBQ for another entry with photos all uploaded.


Meeting with Contact Singapore
Can't remember which night this was but it was about 2 weeks ago?
Mervyn was contacted by CS to get a bunch of working professionals to meet up for dinner and a chat.
We ended up @ Pancake House on Charlotte St.

All in all I quite enjoyed the night.
A chat with the lady rep was quite ok, despite the lack of interest she accidentally revealed while some of us were talking about what was going on with our lives here. But she was open to ideas and enjoyable to chat with.

But on the other side of the table, it seemed not as cheerful as my side. (Can't remember their names for nuts) The male rep was chatting with Merv and the other guys (Chetan and Linds over at my end) and aside from Merv (always with the positive attitude towards SG) the guys over that end did not really enjoy the evening.

Lets view this from another angle first. The CS people were here with an agenda in mind. DUH! They were here to recruit talent back to SG. What the guys gathered in more detail was they were here to recruit foreign talent (note: not SGians). So that naturally pissed off the guys. But I wasnt there to listen to question the male rep about this so I cannot confirm this at all.

But in the end, we got a free dinner, some toys to bring home and some toilet reading material. All's good I say.


The iPod
Finally took out the iPod Shuffle I 'earned' by completing the Systemwalker Associate Course that we all needed to be certified for at work. It took me 2 hrs just to figure out what I need to do to get the iPod formatted and ready for sync-ing. Then another 2 hrs to choose the songs I want and upload it onto the iPod.


But at least it is all done now and it works sooooo good.


Weixin's Visit
Weixin and Wendy dropped by Brisbane for a holiday this week. Finally...someone actually visited. HAHAHA. It was nostalgic indeed. Everyone back in the apartment, albeit without Glenn or Kent.

We had dinner a couple of times, once at GAYA (a place I swore not to return, but apparently they reno-ed and looks great...but the service still sucked) and once at the Taj Mahal where we stuffed ourselves like pigs.

It was great to have someone visit. But sadly I was unable to get leave for this period of time and they were busy meeting up with other people and doing their holidaying as well. I reckon it'll be the same when I go back to SG with our roles reversed.

I sure hope I can go back soon.


Fire Alarm and FLU!!!
The day was Monday the 4th of June.
I was feeling crappy and took 2 hrs off work to get home for a rest.
Was happily sleeping when at around 6....the stupid fire alarm went off.
I wonder who the IDIOT was that set off the thing.

I had to go down the stairs from 24 floors.
Sick, tired and rudely awakened.
It definitely didnt do me any good cos the next day my flu was worse and I took the day off work. Not to mention that every muscle in my legs were overworked (you try carrying my weight down 24 floors at top speed). It still hurts today! :(

Fortunately there isnt anything happening that needs me to use my legs extensively.

So here's a little update for the past 2 weeks.
I got bored at the end so things were shortened.
Hopefully I'll write again soon.


Miss Universe Singapore Wardrobe Woes(?)

Just doing my normal news surfing when I came across this article.


I dunno what they are complaining about but I like that dress.
All that talk about putting up the 'best' the country can provide but everyone just wants money.

As an old TV sit-com character put it: POOOI!!!

Just shut up unless you are willing to put your hand up.


Hero vs Villian

Hahaha...I am not Superman.

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man 85%
Superman 75%
Green Lantern 70%
Iron Man 60%
Robin 52%
Batman 45%
Catwoman 40%
Hulk 40%
Supergirl 35%
Wonder Woman 25%
The Flash 20%

You are intelligent, witty,
a bit geeky and have great
power and responsibility.

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test



Your results:
You are Apocalypse

Apocalypse 58%
Magneto 47%
Mr. Freeze 46%
Dr. Doom 45%
Venom 45%
Mystique 44%
Kingpin 42%
The Joker 42%
Dark Phoenix 41%
Juggernaut 40%
Lex Luthor 32%
Green Goblin 28%
Riddler 26%
Two-Face 20%
Catwoman 17%
Poison Ivy 15%

You believe in survival of the fittest and you believe that you are the fittest.

Click here to take the Super Villain Personality Test