a call for help and charity

like in the past...helping someone is important.
Hope you can give a little of your time and perhaps even more.

Please go to http://jaywalk.blog-city.com/ and read the entries Titled "A Gift of Life"

If you are able to, please go down on Sunday to see if you can help out.
Pass on the message and perhaps help make this world a better place.


An Uneasy Feeling

An Uneasy Feeling
an unknown feeling grips me
a deep strangle on my inside
if only I could look in and see
what it really is that causes me unease
something is about to happen
I can feel it in my gut
my stomach is bent and twisted
my throats feels like it has been cut
I wonder with uneasing tension
about unknown days to come
will we survive the incoming storm
or am I just being paranoid?
about the things to come
please soothe this terrible feeling
take it all from me
or at least let me understand
a future made by the powers that be


Missing You

Missing You
my heart pulsed, a pain returns
beneath the starlit heavens
looking up into forever
lying on the grass wishing you were here
words born from songs filled my mind
thoughts from heaven filled my soul
a longing...painfully etched in
knowing nothing is all i seek
my heart was yours before we met
everything i have is yours to keep
but there you left me alone
to face this world by myself
waiting for your call
i lie here
missing your voice
your embrace
your touch
your kiss
and here will i lie
till the day we meet



I am shifting into overdrive. Emotionally.
WTF is wrong with me?
Am I that easily affected?
All I did was watch "How I Met Your Mother"...and I kena again.
True that it made me remember all the nonsense I needed to leave behind.
How stupid I was...how naive I was.
I am damaged.
Perhaps I need a councellor...
Perhaps I need water...
Perhaps I need little pills...


the day a CRACK brought down a city

I am a little annoyed. Being stuck in a traffic jam this morning was not my cup of tea. And last night was twice as bad just to get home.
Lets start with about 3-4 weeks ago when the Rivercity Expressway was shut down for maintenance works. It had cause serious problems for traffic and luckily for myself, I wasnt injured yet and it didnt bother me that much.

Jump to the present; yesterday, maintenance crews found even more defects/cracks in the expressway's structure. This was only found AFTER they tested the problems they were attempting to fix 4 weeks back. Traffic was almost at a standstill yesterday evening. UGH...and I was like...WTF?!?!?!

Think about it.
A crack LITERALLY brought down Brisbane city.
Brisbane city: the 3rd largest city in Australia...


A Basic Gambit

just got back from lunch.
Mmmm...nice medium-rare beef rib eye from the Customs House Restuarant in the city. Best thing...company lunch...lol.
Havent had a good lunch since who knows when...so that was definitely an occasion.
The steak was accompanied by a light sauce, of which I have no idea what it was made of. But it had a hint of 'heat' in it, which Lindsay suggested might be paprika...who knows. But it resembles how some conversations go doesnt it?

Just last night. An old friend from JC dropped me a message on msn. It was good to hear from her. But she was in another place of course...a happy place.
And she wasnt gonna keep it a secret lo.

She's getting married in December and is all excited and elated about it. I mean...even with horrible students and loads of papers to mark (she's a teacher), she is still happy. HAHAHA. But it did raise suspicion that she msged just to tell me that lo.

In case you start thinking that I am annoyed with it, I aint. I love hearing good news like this. People getting married with someone they truely love always brings a joy within me to hear. It gives me hope that perhaps one day I might have the same in my life.

BUUUT....just like when Weixin told me Wendy said yes to him, it also causes that void in my chest to rumble and I feel a pain there again. I dont like feeling this way. But such is life and I gotta live with it(?). For now, I'll focus on the good news and pray for the loving couple.


Wicked Game

I heard this last night on Idol and I cried..(YES! I cried...so? heh...it takes a real man to admit that)
It kinda really does reflect...well...me...now that is.
So I'd like to share this with you.

"Wicked Game"

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I knew somebody like you.

No, I don't want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I don't want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you. With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)

What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,

I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you no,

No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I...
(This world is only gonna break your heart)

Nobody loves no one.

new shout box

sigh...realised over the weekend that tag-board is down.
checked the site over and over but i think the whole operation is gone.
that means a few other people i know have thei tag boards down as well.
i gave up and started with Tagboardsite.com instead.
At least it works...heh

Will update soon!


Canberra: A Trip in Review

I know I was supposed to get this done last night but I was too tired and continued sleeping like a lazy pig.
Well...I have finally gotten the photos up and online but realised that there are so many things I forgot to photograph in the midst of all the rushed chaos.
Oh well...

The logs of the trip can be found at:
The Roadtrip Log (Sat 0930hrs - 2257hrs)
The Roadtrip Log (Sun 0400hrs - Mon 0700hrs)

And the photos can be found at:
Canberra Roadtrip Day 1
Canberra Roadtrip Day 2
Canberra Roadtrip Day 3

Anyways...the trip.
All in all, I loved the trip. I had fun. At some times, I wanted to strangle something. And others, I wanted to just hide in a corner and cry. It was refreshing.

This will be short because it is late and I want to get to bed. But basically...the roadtrip was good. The event in Canberra was bad. We realised that the new guards over at Canberra didnt really bother about the students much anymore. Their aims might have changed, but I am just speculating. The old guards were nicer. And they remembered us from last year. As far as they see it, QLD has made the effort every year. Last year we went down in force and performed for them. This year, a small group of us drove down despite the lack of any support. With that, I felt proud to be involved.

Since I am still recovering from the trip, more sleep is needed...badly.
So...here's me...signing off


writing from the office...sleepy and tired

hello everybody.
I am soooo sleepy my eyes are hardly open already.
there is no expression on my face except the droopy eyes that I have on now.
we arrived back in the city at around 6? and after dropping off luggage and the various homes, I hitched a ride to work and arrived at 7.30am in the morning. NOBODY is ever here in the office that early and I was alone.
Took my time to set up my desk...collect my thoughts and work on something I had on my mind during the trip.
Here it is:

Joker card with Arrow piercing it

dont understand?...its ok. supposed to be kinda abstract....representing my life as a whole. :)

anyways...will complete the road trip journal tonight perhaps, or when I finally can upload all the pics and link them online. So until then, continue reading.

Thank you for those of you who had us on your minds, hearts, and prayers. We are all fine and good, although a little tired and sleepy.

The Roadtrip Log (Sun 0400hrs - Mon 0700hrs)

TRIVIA: This is my 100th post and it started NOT in Brisbane!!!!

Sunday 4.00am
Outskirts of Canberra
We have arrived!
Canberra finally. And the first thing we all said when we got out of the car? "COLD!!!!!" "WTF?!?!?!"
It was freezing.
It could have been -10 as far I know but I think it was more towards the 2-5 degrees mark.
Anyways...we checked in, went to the room, made as little noise as possible to the other 4 people in the room and...collapsed.

Sunday ~7.30am
YHA Canberra
Tooooo! Tooooo! TOOOOO!!!!!
The fire alarm is going off like this ear splitting thing!
The hostel manager actually came up to every room to get everyone downstairs, in our sleepwear. I looked ridiculous! Grey singlet, green shorts and black leather shoes without socks on. Oh Dear!
We found out later that the fire alarm we triggered by mistake by a kid...$#%#^#^@$%^#$%
Anyways...we rushed back to the room just so to fall asleep again almost immeditely.

Sunday 10.30am
Griffin Centre
After a terrible walk from the carpark, we finally got to the venue for the event. Should be interesting. Will update soon.
And what's this? A line? We gotta queue up to get in?
LOL...how Singaporean is that?
Oh no! Wait! It's only in the line to buy raffle tickets...well...10 for me please!

Sunday 5.14pm
Somewhere on the M7 bypass
What a day we had. Totally insane.
After arriving in Canberra around 4.30am last night, we promptly checked into the room at YHA and went to bed. But lo and behold, at 7 in the morning, the bloody fire alarm went off. UGH!!! WTF?!?!? I wanted to sleep!!!!
Ended up going to bed about 15 mins later after the firemen concluded that it was a false alarm. So @ around 9am, woke up, showered, packed, and we were on our way to the Makan Besar.

The event itself was ok la. Met a few people, had good food (perhaps sleep deprevation has affected my judgement). The other 4 guys all won prizes. Hahaha...I wasnt expecting anything for myself la. I never win anything for free ever anyways. :)
Lots of photos to be uploaded and definitely once I have a chance. Probably on Monday evening la.

So around 2pm, we left the Griffin Centre (the location of the Makan Besar) and drove down to the Australian Parliament House for photos and soveniors. And then, rushed back on the road to get home. We stopped about 1-2 hrs later @ a KFC for food, and now, we're back on the road. Jeff is driving, Alan is V-com. Anthony is having a huge rest at the back. So here we are again, singing along to old songs from our youth and talking about absolutely nonsensical things. But hey! we love it.

Sunday 11.30pm
Somewhere north of Sydney
So here I am again, seated in the front of the vehicle and Mervyn is the driver for this leg of the drive. Everyone else is seated at the back catching Zs.

Mervyn has been driving for the past 2 hours and I have been playing music on request and of course, some of my own personal favorites via the setup we have in the car. Had a long chat with Mervyn about life, love, and everything that came to our minds. It was a good chat. Brought back some really terrible memories for myself but it was good to have it voiced out. I can face them head on (sorta) like that.

I have to say at this point of the trip, I am feeling really tired already. The lack of sleep, the lack of movement, the lack of stimulation and stuck in cramped spaces with deakness all around on the outside has finally taken its toll on myself and I am sure, the rest of the group as well. But it was a good trip...and we'll soldier on for the final few hours that is left.

Monday 3.40am
"The Big Prawn" stopover
Ah! here we are at last. This is one place I was expecting to go past but not stop for this trip. It was the first place we had a stopover last year and also the last we had as well, minus the sidetrack stop at the beach. But I'd never thought we'd stop here....HERE of all places.

The guys went for a toilet break while I took a photo of the Prawn as well as munching on a Milo bar that I bought from the only store still open at this hour here. I almost teared up when it hit me that I am actually here. This place which made someone cry last year because of something left behind. This place which I met, for the first time despite being on the same bus, 2 girls from UQ who became good companions and chat buddies for the trip. This place which brought about a smile on her face when she finally got her stuff back from the helpful people at the counter.

Anyways...I digress. Alan was driving this final leg of the trip and Anthony was keeping him company. Mervyn and I were trying to rest at the back of the car with no success (well...for me anyways) because we had work in the morning. I was feeling so terrible that I actually contemplated calling in sick or take a day off.
Well...it was a thought afterall.

Monday 7.00am
Home (aka Rivercity Apartments)
Ah! Home. But no time to waste.
We dropped off Anthony at his hostel, dropped off Alan's stuff, dropped off Jeff's things and he moved to his car, dropped Mervyn and I off at Rivercity to unload our luggage.

Alan is not going to return the Tarago, Jeff will follow and then drive Alan and himself and Alan home to (presumably) rest and unpack.

Ugh...still too tired to think but I'll go with them to get to work since its on the way anyways. (the car hire place is in Newstead as well)

A common, rushed, and mad way to end a road trip but here's to a good trip to Canberra. Wished we had more time but that's it for now. So from exactly where the whole trip started off, here's me signing off for the last time in the log. WE MADE IT!!!

[end log]


a LIVE update from NSW

Hello everybody.
We are finally online and heading towards Canberra!!!
A little message from our motley crew:
Mervyn: nothing
Jeff: nothing
Anthony: "Damned shack ah!"
Alan: "12.50am and we are still alive!"

So lets see...a few more hours before we reach Canberra finally. There might not be anymore updates from now until Canberra or tomorrow morning. I wonder how siah, especially when the Dale probably won't be awake by the time we get to YHA Canberra. Where do we sleep? In the car? LOL!

Everyone is a little on edge already. Arguing over tolls and stuff. I think we are reaching our limits.

The next stop will see Mervyn taking over as driver and myself as V-Com.
Lets hope we make it in one piece.
Till next time (and I really wonder when this will be), here's me, signing off.

The Roadtrip Log (Sat 0930hrs - 2257hrs)

Sat 2.33pm
Along the road after Byron onto Canberra
Sitting in the backseat of the Tarago, watching the sights brush past the window, my eyes swell up with memories of this same trip one year ago.

I still remember the trip on the bus. Either falling asleep on the bus with someone I loved right beside me, or just chatting and making a ruckus with the others...it was fun. If only time somehow stopped there and we never moved onto now. It was, whether it was an illusion or not, the happiest time of my life. A sense of longing just tugs onto something deep and refuses to let go. A pain suddenly fills my insides like an explosion of emotion surging through my veins. Its so silly yet it is the only thing I can hold onto.

Everything is coming back to me now...and I am overwhelmed.

Sat 2.42pm
Along the road after Byron onto Canberra
Well....just over 5 hrs into the trip and here we are...driving down a somewhat empty road (Pacific Highway) somewhere in NSW, around Macintyre Lane and we just passed Shark Creek. We had stopped three times since then, once for a fuse for the inverter to power all our devices in the Tarago and gather 'supplies'. The 2nd time for breakfast at a Maccers and finally, for a toilet break at a Hungry Jacks.

Alan is trying to fix a power problem in the front and we just found out that his laptop is the problem.
HAHAHAHA....we just found out that he plugged the wrong plug into the power socket....GENIUS!!!!
Everyone seems to be in somewhat high spirits and we're listening to old, but nostalgic rock music (with a short bout of chinese rock) while singing along.

So lets see....310KM travelled....around 900 more to go. It might be a still be a long more to go, but we're enjoying ourselves immensely. Alan has given up on his laptop adaptor and has used mine to substitute. Well...till the next time I feel like writing more about the trip, hold onto your horses and check regularly.

Sat 5.20pm
Leaving Coffs Harbour
We are on the road out of Coffs Harbour back onto the highway. Just had an interesting dinner/lunch at the local shopping centre.

After we stopped in Coffs Harbour a while ago, there was no food outlet open except Gloria Jeans and that was definitely not a cost effective option. So what did we do? We went to Coles, bought 2 roast chickens and shared the 'spoils of war'. It was the best food we had today la.

Still have no access to the Internet yet so all the entries will have to be uploaded only later as a batch. Coffs Harbour was beautiful. But we didnt get to actually get to the beach or the seaside. But from the highway, it looks wonderful. Imagine living in a town/seaside cove that looks like the ones you see on the O.C., cool man.

We are now back on the road and back to the routine of singing and talking total cock. The sun is setting. Everyone is quiet suddenly. And according to Alan, our next landmark is Port Macquarie. So till then...or sometime before that...here's me signing off.

Sat 7.20pm
We are at a petrol station just after stopping at a Maccers for coffee and snacks. Arrangement in the Tarago now is:
Mervyn is in the driver's seat with Anthony in the V-Com's seat. Jeff and Alan in the second row and me finally in the back row. My laptop is dying and I'll need to recharge the battery on this soon.

We are still a long way to Canberra; I believe we are around 400km from Sydney and then 300km more to Canberra. With this progress, we'll reach Canberra around 2-3am in the morning on Sunday. I can imagine how rushed and sleepy we'll be tomorrow morning when we have breakky with the other SSA representatives from the other states. Not to mention the actual Makan Besar...ugh. We'll need to plan a little better for the trip back else we'll be in trouble to get back to work on Monday. Well...at least for me.

ok...since this laptop is already beeping(low battery warning), I'll sign off for now and recharge before writing again.

Sat 9.14pm
Somewhere in NSW a little nearer to Canberra
Finally...power again. Charging up to 23% battery already...hope this charges up faster. We have no idea exactly where we are but definitely somewhere nearer to Canberra already. Watching MI:3 on the laptop (finally watching this movie but I'd never guessed that I'd be watching it on a way to another city from Brisbane).

Waiting on an update on how long more before we get to Sydney. Everyone seems to be ok. Awake again after a revival stop. I am guessing we are around 2 hrs from Sydney, but we are not going into Sydney proper. We are going to bypass it using the M7 I believe. Again, we are unable to broadcast this in any way to the Internet because there is still no reception on the mobile Internet card. SIGH. But everything is looking up and we'll definitely arrive in Canberra soon.

This trip has been very interesting indeed. We are learning about each other in ways that we probably will never do if we just stayed in Brisbane. New sides of our personalities are emerging with hopeless abandon (probably because of being together in a confined space for so long). But things are not for the worst...instead, things are good. We aren't killing each other yet (which is always a good thing), but we'll definitely be tired by the time we get to Canberra (kudos to the drivers for the efforts). I am still at the back of the Tarago but Alan has taken over as the driver and Mervyn is taking a break.

Ok la...nothing really interesting happening as yet. Might give this Internet thing another try but I am not holding my breath.

Sat 10.57pm
Getting onto the New England Highway (160km from Sydney)
And since we dont have a schedule to adhere to since the beginning, there is no way to know whether we are on time or not. LOL.

We just had another short break and we're back on the road. Trying to make sense on the plans for tomorrow morning. Are we still meeting the other SSAs for breakfast? How far is the YHA from the Singapore High Comm? There is alot we dont know and wont know until we arrive or maybe even tomorrow morning. But hey...how cares...this is fun, although tiring.

Ok...I am bored again...signing off!


T-minus 8hrs to Canberra

Madness....just before going to bed...still got things not done:
Now the to-do list:

01. make space in my laptop for the music [done]
02. get music [gave up]
03. pack clothes, towel, toiletries [one shirt left]
04. pack the laptop and accessories [in the morning]
05. get my Camera & accessories ready [done]
06. LCD Screen [done]
07. buy travel snacks and munchies [will get them during the trip]
08. pack magazines/books for time passing [mag left]
09. headphones [done]
10. chargers (handphone, camera) [in the morning]
11. arrange travel expenses [on the way]
12. (still dunno if i missed anything)

so dumb...only 2 days' trip, why so kan cheong??!?!?!



I just realised why I dont particularly like this woman who works just a few desks away from me.
something about her bugged me since I started work here and I identified it just now!
its her 'perfect' english!
the way she pronounces every word accurately, in a very pompous, arrogant, 'English' way. (no offence to anyone of course, but it still bugs me)

T-minus 1 day to Canberra

The transmitter is working!!!
Now the list of things I'll need to do:

01. make space in my laptop for the music [done]
02. get music [partially done]
03. pack clothes, towel, toiletries
04. pack the laptop and accessories
05. get my Camera & accessories ready [partially done]
06. PS2 + LCD Screen (seems like this is a go)
07. buy travel snacks and munchies [will get them during the trip]
08. pack magazines/books for time passing
09. headphones
10. chargers (handphone, camera)
11. arrange travel expenses
12. (pending)

I still dont know if I missed out anything.

new features

added a categories section...wow...but its only for new/recent entries only of course.
i cant imagine myself going back to all my old entries and giving them labels...no that i didnt try...just got bored when i got to the....5th?
i am excited...canberra
lots of good memories the last time i went down there.
some more than others (drifting off into the tumultuous sea of emotions...........


bloody hell....imagine if....

justin passed me this picture of times past...
so long ago...
can you find me?
imagine if i still looked like that?

Old CHS Photo of 3E1
Click to get larger picture

T-minus 2 days to Canberra

I wonder what I have missed out in our planning...
Alan is acquiring the inverter so that we can have electricity in the vehicle. (everything extra depends on this)
joel has helped me buy an FM transmitter for the music.

I'll need to:
1. make space in my laptop for the music
2. get music
3. pack clothes, towel, toiletries
4. pack the laptop and accessories
5. get my Camera and accessories ready (video camera?)
6. PS2 + LCD Screen (still a maybe only...Alan...you sure you want this?)
7. buy travel snacks and munchies
8. pack magazines/books for time passing
9. headphones
10. chargers (handphone, camera)
11. arrange travel expenses
12. (pending)

did I miss out anything?

POLL: Road Trip Music

going to drive down to Canberra over the weekend.
we need a compilation of songs (aside from rock only, which alan wants exclusively) that can take us there and back.
please give me your favourite all-time road trip songs and i'll include it in our list.


the things we do

going down to canberra is becoming a drama.
its just a trip down to canberra...meeting people...making acquaintances.
it was supposed to be fun...and exciting...and an adventure that can only happen a few times in a person's life.
now we have grudges and misunderstandings and people feeling bad...WTF?!?!?!?!
it will clear up soon...but when did it escalate to all this?!?!?!
it's like watching a telenova from the side


here we go again...

ah...it has been too long since my last entry.
just didnt feel like writing.
dunno why.
just not in the mood.
havent been in the mood for anything for so long.
not like there isnt anything to write about.
soooo many things have happened: SSA AGM, SSA Dance Party, new forum for the SSAs, Menopause the Musical, I injured my knee and limping now, our plan to go down to Canberra next week, and those are just a few...

like the typical Cancer, I am affected by mood, and I can tell you this, I havent been high spirited in a long long time.
I hate feeling like this. I can operate and go on with life, but i just dont want to. a real smile is hard to come by recently and I miss that feeling of being happy.
I am such an idiot.

how shall I start? dont really know...haha
lets see....probably not in order but on what I remember as I write this.
firstly...SSA AGM.
it is finally over for this year's committee. congrats to them for their hard work and events this year. for wat its worth...I enjoyed my time when I attended the events. Chia Erhn is the new president for next year...so it'll be interesting to see how things turn out next year.

the dance party a few days later was ok if not memorable. just 10-20 mins of arriving, I tripped and fell on my knee, confining me to the sofas for the rest of the night and even now...I am still off my legs as much as possible. it hurts! and physical pain added onto how I am feeling inside is not a good combination for any bit of sanity. I am erratic these days, and it takes a lot not to suddenly burst into a flourish of vulgarities and maybe even physical expressions of frustration.
I need to get this knee healed soon.

helped Alan setup a forum that he will use for his personal projects (although i didnt really help much because of software automation...lol). cant get into it too much until he is ready to unveil it to the rest of the world. but it is looking great.

a few weeks ago, we went down to watch Menopause. a musical about 4 women and how they dealt with hot flushes, mood swings and memory loss. it was great fun. laughed the whole 90 mins. although the actual trip there was horrid. we arrived later than planned, couldnt find parking and ended up on the other side of the hill. WOW!!! imagine...ME...climbing up this ridiculously steep hill only to go down its horrendous way down just to get to the theatre. lucky the actual musical was worth it. ended up at Doris T's place after for coffee and tea where we chatted into the night...it was great.

talking about musicals...accompanied Justin, Kimmy and her friend Kim to a meeting of an amatuer theatre group here in Brisbane. at first...I had thought it'll be great to be part of a group of people who are doing this production annually. well, that idea kinda got itself blasted when i got there. they had recorded the play on DVD and I was......left with less to say. it was......well....lets just leave it at that and you can imagine the rest away. sufficed to say, Kimmy and Kim wont be getting back to them anytime soon and probably...neither will I.

UM asked me whether I am interested in joining the SC to help them with their website. I didnt know what to say. it wasnt something new, they had asked before a while ago, but their AGM was coming up and they needed an answer. I said yes which kinda eventually led up to me learning lots about flash and CSS and etc about modern website design. should be interesting to see how I can help.

and finally, this coming weekend. the Singapore Community Day is on at the Singapore High Comm. at first, I had given up on the idea of going because the subsidy available is crap, flying over is too costly and there just wasnt enough people interested. well...not until sat when I had one of my large gatherings/bbqs/potlucks.
the few of us left at the end of the night started talking about it and somehow came to an idea. to drive down to Canberra in a Tarago. we started looking into prices of rental, lodging, and fuel. it was possible! and it is a bunch of people who are willing to go down and actually an spend time together without killing each other. one thing led to another and as of this morning, we had confirmed plans, participants, and costs for the trip. now I just need to compile roadtrip music and we are all go!

one small hickup did happen though. this sat, the SC had invited some of us (all involved with the trip) to a dinner that is to happen after their exco stepping down meeting. but with this new plan happening, we wont be able to go. when we told AC last night, she was not a happy camper to say the least. I was taken aback....WHY?!?!?! it's not like we are blowing off the dinner for a dance party or clubbing in the valley. we are going down to Canberra to further certain plans put into action recently. to meet people and be part of something important and significant. and wat I am still blur about is...what has their stepping down have to do with us??? we arent in the committee. I am so confused. what do you think?

tt's all I wanted to write about. cant think of anything more and the entry has already grown too long. cant expect too many people to read long entries. so here's me...signing off...and reaching for a gun to shoot myself.