The One With The (Almost) Explosion

I feel like exploding. 
So much suppressed anger, frustration, exhaustion and worries. 
Anything might set me off now...and I am worried what it might be. 


The one with the passing

Woke up today and checked FB as usual and saw a friend's post regarding his dad's passing.
I am really sorry to find out about it and it has gotten me thinking a little bit about stuff.
We are all so fragile on this world. You never know when your time has finally run out.
Why aren't we letting ourselves be happy and without pointless conflict and burden?
Work problems.
Love problems.
Money problems.
A lot of them are self inflicted, aren't they?
I want to be free of these problems as much as possible.
But how to do it....


The One With The Downer Day

Today is just one of those days.
Woke up feeling down.
Not that I had a bad sleep...just didn't feel great when I awoke.
Checked my potential class for tomorrow only to find it cancelled for some unknown reason.
There was a student enrolled in it yesterday.
Felt shafted again.
ANGRY but nothing I can do about it.
Still waiting for a reply with the job application at another institution.
This sucks.


The One With The Anger

Today was a day when I was angry...ANGRY!
People around me was none-the-wiser of course.
I was so angry!

Angry at people who didn't have any concern over how their actions might hurt or damage me...or that it was done with so little care....the level of nonchalance was INFURIATING!

Mixed in with a dab of insecurity of what is to happen over the next few months, a touch of physical soreness that I experience everyday and finally a horrible expensive lunch sent me almost over the top.

I was exploding inside.
I wanted something bad to happen to this unnamed person.
Let him feel some fear and pain.
The power he has over people's lives must probably make him superior.
Damned him!
I know it is wrong to wish bad things upon others but I cannot stop how I feel this time.
This is the 2nd time I was shafted in 2 years....by the same organisation and person!
F**k him!


A first for 2012

Well. It has been a while since I wrote anything. Seems not so long ago though. It's almost march and the new year felt like it was only a days back. So here I am now again at the food court in MacArthurs.

I want to say that is has been an exciting year to date but it really hasn't. CQU's summer semester ended like a flash. Working at the accommodations office also felt like a dream. So quickly over like a dream anyways.

This coming week marks the first week of the first semester for 2012 in the universities. I am back to teaching the database and programming classes again at CQU. Might be exciting and different because we will have domestic students joining us now. We will see.

Also got a part time gig working for the ISS in QUT to make changes to their systems. New territory but should be fun...hopefully.

All the unknowns are killing me. Lol.


Year end review 2011

This is when I usually review the year and look at all the good times with a smile and sigh at all my regrets.

This year I am not going to.

It has been an interesting year. Not a good one, but an interesting one.

Doesn't matter though.
2012 will be better. Plans are in place. And I know what I need to do.

So happy new year you all. And have a great 2012!!!


Come What May

The greatest thing
You'll ever learn
Is just to love
And be loved
In return

Your Song

Just something I feel like...


需要人陪 (Xu Yao Ren Pei) - Wang Lee Hom

这一间屋子 如此密闭

我 渐渐失去知觉
你 飞到天的边缘

一个我 需要梦想 需要方向 需要眼泪
更需要 一个人来 点亮天的黑
我已经 无能为力 无法抗拒 无路可退
这无声的夜 现在的我 需要人陪

闭上眼睛 就看不清
这双人床 欠缺的 温馨
谁能 陪我 直到天明
穿透这片 迷蒙寂静

我 渐渐失去知觉
你 飞到天的边缘

一个我 需要梦想 需要方向 需要眼泪
更需要 一个人来 点亮天的黑
我已经 无能为力 无法抗拒 无路可退
这无声的夜 现在的我 需要人陪

一个我 需要梦想 需要方向 需要眼泪
更需要 一个人来 点亮天的黑
我已经 无能为力 无法抗拒 无路可退
这无声的夜 现在的我 需要人陪

柴米油盐酱醋茶(Chai Mi You Yan Jiang Cu Cha) - Wang Lee Hom

小时候 你想要什麽 我要一臺大大蓝色的飞机
带我环遊世界 到地球每一个角落 在蓝天白云中穿梭

而长大以後 我想要什麽 我要一臺小小红色答录机
和你一起录下 喂 我们现在不在家 蓝色变成红色因 为你

柴米油盐酱醋茶 一点一滴都是幸福在发芽
月儿弯弯爱的傻 有了你什麽都 不差

小时候 你想要什麽 我要一臺大大蓝色的飞机
带我环遊世界 到地球每一个角落 在蓝天白云中穿梭

哦 长大以後 我想要什麽 我要一臺小小红色答录机
和你一起录下 喂 我们现在不在家 蓝色变成红色因 为你

柴米油盐酱醋茶 一点一滴都是幸福在发芽
月儿弯弯爱的傻 有了你什麽都 不差

给你快乐无论白天黑夜 握紧双手就算刮风下雨
我就是要你 要你待在我身边 保护你直到永远

柴米油盐酱醋茶 一点一滴都是幸福在发芽
月儿弯弯爱的傻 有了你什麽都 不差

月儿弯弯爱的傻 没有一个理由
活的那麽复杂 有了你什麽都 不差