A Smack of Nostalgia

Couldn't fall asleep easy last night.
Didn't really get properly rested until about 2am?
That nap in the middle of the day really screwed with my internal clock...sigh

Anyways...While tossing and turning on my bed, a person came to mind.
Someone long ago in my past...I'd say 10 years at least?
Lets call her (yes...she's a girl) "MY".

A uncontrollable train of memories just came rushing down the tracks and hitting me smack in the face. It was so long ago.
How is she? What is she doing these days?
I know she probably still teaches Sunday School back home but I wonder if that has changed as well (beyond my ability to fathom).

Sigh...the biggest crush I had on this one back then. And it was all one sided all too naturally. I guess this is time for a little background update:

I joined up with Catechism classes one year later than my peers so it kinda ended up with me becoming the older student in the class. It was an interesting age. Teens were beginning to open up and the gender divide is slowing closing (ie. Girls and Boy dont sit seperately in class anymore). Well...aside from the 1st year when a nun was teaching us...boys sat one one side and the girls sat on the other.
But MY didn't come into the picture until a little later.

When she joined, she still was not Catholic. Just another girl going through the motions of getting Baptised and starting Sunday School. If I remembered clearly enough (which does not happen often), I was asked to make sure everything was ok with her (Sigh...being the older one in class was annoying at times). By this time I believe I was made unofficial leader of the boys cohort and Stacey was for the girls. This was to facilitate any joint activities we are supposed to have (So gang-like right?).

So the year went on but I naturally didn't feel anything for MY all this while. Just friends, we were. But one year...I cannot remember which...during the annual church camp, I started having feelings for her. I think she was in my group as well. Hazy memory sucks bad.
From then on, I held a silent flame for her. Trying to get to know her better but it never seemed to work out properly. Probably because of my awkwardness as a teenager when it came to girls I liked.

My silence continued on for the last few years of Catechism and even carried onto the Junior Catechists (which to my delight she decided to join as well). But that whole saga didn't pan out well either. I got involved more often with my JC activities and eventually, I decided to leave the Jr Cats. She joined up with the Catechists while I didn't have much time left for much else after enlisting for NS. After NS? I came straight to Brisbane and embarked on this new journey of my life.

All those years spent in quiet yearning for this person. I wonder how things might have turned out if I dared to tell her. If I dared to make myself known to her a little more, instead of being the quiet one. Although my heart has taken a turn ever since coming to Brissy, MY always had a small place in my silent heart.

She was the perfect being in my eyes back then.
Sigh
Teenage Love
So...innocent...so tragic.
She will probably always remain the symbol of lost opportunity to me.
The graceful, happy, intelligent beauty that she was and probably still is.