A Missing Feeling

Ah! Here we are...the end of another long day.
Highlights of the day:
1. New phone system in the office. Finally got my own number with personalised services. Heheheh!
2. Had lunch (WOOOOOOOOOOOW.....ROFL)
3. Going home soon (Heh...an everyday highlight)

Amidst all these "exciting" things happening...a thought...more like a realisation has been at the back of my mind since last night.
I have been feeling a sense of loss; like something is missing from my everyday life. Perhaps I have finally identified what it is.

I want to fall in love.

Just having someone in my heart again. I think I actually miss the feeling to pine for someone. To secretly hold a flame for someone. To do something special for someone. To feel my heart beat twice as fast when that person is nearby. Even if it means to have the accompanying emotions such as the feeling of unrequited feelings or knowing that that person might never find out. But all that is shadowed by the fact that I am secretly in bliss.

Maybe it is the type of movie, tv, manga or anime that I watch. But such romanticism has always played a part in my life. I need it desperately...almost as much as air. Without it, I might as well be catching my breath or even choke on the lack of it. Maybe it is a feeling I am familiar with. I mean...I have been doing it since who-knows-when. Never really having the courage to profess my feelings; afraid to even try because I know that I'll get rejected.

Nevertheless...I need to have that feeling I think. Like I said...I miss it truly. The feeling in my chest; that void; that monster; might actually be so.


nadia said...

i think u need to learn to be okay/happy without the need of pining over someone or loving someone. love yourself and be happy! when you find a partner, it becomes a bonus!

the-red-knight said...

true...i agree. but knowing myself...that wont work. your advice suits most people definitely. for me...it works differently somehow. blame my weird genes...hahaha. in the past, before i knew how love felt like, that piece of advice would've been the best i could get. but now...being in love or/and to be loved in return is the only way i want to move forward.

nadia said...


the-red-knight said...

ROFL...I wonder....