The Holidaying Child Returns to Adulthood

Siiiiigh.
So here I am back again in the office.
All nicely dressed up (despite the pain I still get from my stomach illness; price of being an adult I guess) and ready for a new work year.

For the past 3 weeks I was given the best holiday I had for over a year. I felt like a child with no responsibilities again. Just enjoying my time, having fun, having a good time. There were of course moments when I needed to be the adult again but they were few.

I love to be back home. There was a sort of peace that I never truly found here in Brisbane. A sense that everything will work out fine. It's almost like God knows who I am there and takes special care of me when I am there. It's as if there is a magnifying glass that focuses on me when I am home. I loved it in Singapore; I loved being home.

It's different.
In Brisbane, I got my own little 'family' here as well, but it really is different back there. It is a place where I grew up, a place where my memories are, a place that defines me. I had my first crush there, my first moment of glory, my first heartbreak. Nothing can ever change that.

I now have this constant yearning for something that has been torn out of my heart again. Sitting here in my office, among the people I have grown to like and work with, I feel something missing. A sense of nonsensical bond between them and myself. I don't believe I can ever call myself Aussie. I am Singaporean; I call myself Singaporean, and that's what sets us apart.

This is a place where I work, where I live, where I spend most of my time, but it can never be home.(?)