the one with the musing

hold me near, remember our kiss
once i am gone, those you will miss
time is not my ally
and soon i'll be no more
i cant be there to hold you when you're sad
i can no longer be your listening ear, a shoulder to cry on
if i had a wish, i'll be by your side forever
my arms around you, keeping you safe till the end of time
just thinking about leaving you breaks my heart
broken into pieces so small i cannot even collect them when they break away
promise me one thing, live in happiness
that is what i want for you, that is all i ever wanted
once i am gone, i can never say these words to you anymore
remember my kiss
remember my arms around you
remember me my love

the one with the WOOHOO!!!!!!

(refer to title)

the one with the anticipation

ahhhhh!!!
i am going nuts!!!
booked the 4pm show at myer centre already
waiting...just waiting...4 more hrs
so close yet...so far away...before i see kal-el again...

the one with SUPERMAN!!!!

ARGH!!!!
those lucky #%$$^#& in the states get to watch it before us!!!
SOB!
how am i supposed to watch it tomrw when it opens here?
i got work!!!
UGH!
i'll make do i guess....either take a few hrs off work and catch the early afternoon show OR watch the evening one (which will be PACKED)
one way or another...up up and away for me to see a bird, a plane, wait no...it's...

lyrics: Time Of Our Lives & I Believe In You

• Click Me (to see 'Time of our Lives' lyrics)
  
  "Time of our Lives"
  - Il Divo & Toni Braxton -
  
  There was a dream
  Long time ago
  There was a dream
  Destined to grow
  
  Hacerse pasion
  Con fuego abrazar
  El deseo de dar sin fin
  El deseo de ganar
  
  For the lifetime
  Of progress
  That runs here today
  Will go all the way
  
  Hey They feels like we've having
  The time of our lives
  Let's light the fire, find the pain
  Let's come together as one inside
  'Cause it feels like we've having
  The time of our lives
  We'll find the glory
  All that we are, for all that we are
  For the time of our lives
  
  Hoy es el dia
  Es la ocasion de triunfar
  Para hacer realidad el destino que soñabamos conseguir
  Una vida de lucha nos trajo hasta aqui
  Y llegare hasta el final (Heaven knows...)
  
  Cause it feels like we’ve having the time of our lives
  Juntos, unidos, triunfara nuestro deseo de ser el major
  Cause it feels like we’ve having the time of our lives
  juanto la gloria, junto a mi,
  La hora llego de la verdad
  El momento llego
  
  Y ya nunca jamas lo podre olvidar...
  
  Cause it feels like we’ve having ('cause it feels...like we're having...)
  The time of our lives
  Juntos, unidos, triunfara (juntos, unidos, triunfara...)
  Nuestro deseo de ser el mejor
  ’Cause it feels like we’ve having ('cause it feels...like we're having...)
  The time of our lives
  junto a la gloria, junto a mi,
  La hora llego
  El momento llego (Oh!...)
  
  We'll find the glory (Find the glory...)
  we'll be there (In the end...)
  For all that we are
  For everything that we wanna be and all that we are
  For the time of our lives
  For the time of our lives...
  Oh...

• Click Me (to see 'I Believe In You' lyrics)
  
  "I Believe In You (Je Crois En Toi)"
  - Il Divo & Celine Dion -
  
  Lonely
  The path you have chosen
  A restless road
  No turning back
  One day you
  Will find you light again
  Don't you know
  Don't let go
  Be strong
  
  Follow you heart
  Let you love lead through the darkness
  Back to a place you once knew
  I believe, I believe, I believe
  In you
  
  Follow your dreams
  Be yourself, an angel of kindness
  There's nothing that you can not do
  I believe, I believe, I believe
  In you.
  
  Tout seul
  Tu t'en iras tout seul
  Coeur ouvert
  A L'univers
  Poursuis ta quete
  Sans regarder derriere
  N'attends pas
  Que le jour
  Se leve
  
  Suis ton etoile
  Va jusqu'ou ton reve t'emporte
  Un jour tu le toucheras
  Si tu crois si tu crois si tu crois
  En toi
  Suis la lumiere
  N'eteins pas la flamme que tu portes
  Au fonds de toi souviens-toi
  Que je crois que je crois que je crois
  Que je crois
  En toi
  
  Someday I'll find you
  Someday you'll find me to
  And when I hold you close
  I'll know that is true
  
  Follow your heart
  Let you love lead through the darkness
  Back to a place you once knew
  I believe, I believe, I believe in you
  
  Follow your dreams
  Be yourself, an angel of kindness
  There's nothing that you can not do
  I believe, I believe, I believe
  In you.

the one with the hurt

all i feel these days deep down, despite the smiles and laughs i have with friend, is pain...pain so deep in my heart...i dont know what to do...

the one with the writing

started a sub-blog that will record my writing work.
got so many ideas in my head for storylines, either for novels or computer games.
just need to record them down and develop them to something complete.
so hopefully that works out.
the site is at Shutup and Write

the one with the staying at home

amazing what comes to mind when you just back and reflect:
was invited to the pig to watch state of origin game 2 but i wasnt in the mood.
it is not a rare occurance for me to feel up to leaving home in the evenings for a simple drink out in the city.
i wonder why...and now...i finally got the reason.
i hate walking back alone, and i'll do anything to avoid it.
going out in the evenings usually lead to me walking home alone.
walking back to a home where there is no one waiting for me...nor anything extremely appealing in the apartment to pull me back.
but mainly the lone walk is that which puts me off badly
there you go, another mystery solved

the one with a surprised awakening

i woke up this morning to the loud exclaimation of my TV alarm: "Australia has won it!"
imagine that...a team which i had no faith in actually defeated the japanese by 2 goals. it's almost unable to fathom...but it seems fate had other plans indeed.
"go aussie!" i exclaim in unenthusiastic praise.

another form of awakening might be considered to be experienced on my way to work this morning. with sleepy bodies all around me and the lack of the hustle and bustle in the streets (probably because i left for work much earlier than normal), it was somewhat surreal. anyways, just sitting on the bus, with my mood music playing on the mp3, it occurred to me: i am not happy...and i havent been happy for a while now.

i dont mean that i dont laugh and joke when the opportunity arises, what i mean is the happiness you get when you wake up, when you go about your day, when you go to bed; the kind of 'inner' happiness when you realise you are alive.

perhaps this train of thought started a while back but it kinda took form last night when i had dinner with some of my closest friends here in good ol Brissie. they were happy, with people they love at their side or on their minds and of course, having their love back in return. the truth is...i am jealous...well...a little.

this feeling i have inside is so conflicting, i am happy for them of course...they are good people and they deserve the love and care of another person, esp from the ones they love. then comes the part that follows...the self-centered part. a questions pops into my mind: "why not me?" isnt it weird that the common question people ask is "why me?" whereas i am asking the opposite question?

someone might say this is pathetic, that i am pathetic for thinking and feeling this way. i wont argue. it truely isnt something to be proud of.
"move on"
"find someone who will cherish and love you"
that's what i hear from people, and of course...i have dished out the same to whom i thought needed to hear it.
i realised over the past few months that the words dont offer any comfort.
a surprised...more accurately...a rude awakening has come for me:
once bitten, never again(?)

the one with the chest pains

my chest has been really tight this morning.
not heart attack la...lol...else how am i typing this?

just the impending sense of doom and gloom.
so many things are happening around me, the conflicting thing about it is that i want to let it all out...confide in someone, but when opportunity presents itself, i just dont want to talk abt it.

pain(literally), anxiety, loneliness, panic, overwhelming responsibilities and helplessness.
somehow all mixed into one and i am struggling to handle all of it.
all my energy is used to keep a composed front.
i wonder how long i can keep this up.

i hate feeling this way. i can vaguely remember a time when i was just happy, with just stupid little things to worry about. things that wont mean throwing my hopes and dreams aside to do the right thing, be the adult, to survive in this world, to be responsible for the ones i love.

i am waiting for a saviour, but i dont think anyone is on their way...

the one with 64% asian

[x] You take your shoes off before entering the house
[x] You eat rice often.
[x] You use chopsticks.
[x] You can speak an asian language.
[x] Your parents want good grades from you.
[ ] Your parents insist you don't date until college.
[ ] Your parents want you to go to Berkeley or some other good university like that. Stanford or Harvard, even better.
[x] Your parents believe in Feng Shui.
[x] You listen to those horoscopes/zodiac signs.
[ ] Your parents love to gossip with the other parents about you.
[ ] You have relatives other than your immediate family living with you.
[x] Most or all of your friends are asian.
[ ] You don't even know 10 people who aren't asian.
[x] Your ancestors came from Asia.
[x] You are obsessed with the computer and can't get enough.
[x] You know how to put a computer together.
[x] You listen to asian music.
[x] You can actually understand the lyrics.
[ ] You have to keep things from your parents, even if they're not bad, because you know they'd THINK it's bad.
[ ] Your relatives love to bring you clothes that are bright in color with cute cartoons on them. If you're lucky, it might even have english words on them that don't make sense.
[x] You love your ethnic food.
[x] You have taken/still take piano and/or violin.
[ ] Classical music is the best music ever, next to asian music.
[x] You are good at math [except geometry] (does it count if i am good in geometry as well?)

multiply by 4

put the product as "__% Asian