New-ness

I have always wondered how things will be different if I bought a place of my own.
Becoming a home owner...taking another step into adulthood.
But who knew...I had to lose my stable source of income at the same time.
Now I have to fight harder to survive.
Now I need to make sure I do not ever depend on others to dictate how my future unfolds.

Never would I have thought that I'd need to take so many steps at the same time.

How many people I know lead their lives allowing others to lead them to their tomorrows? After finding that first or second job and leave their fates to their employers.
Maybe not that many but I am sure there are enough to be significant.

There are still many things I need to learn...to experience...to suffer from...to rejoice about...to cry over...to keenly remember.
It takes a lot to keep it all together.
No Excuses!
I need still need to do it at the end of the day.
A little help and comfort helps of course...and I still seek that source everyday.
That corner that I can retreat to...to find comfort...to find peace.
I thought it was a house or apartment but what I need is a home...a place with loved ones...a place with family.
Does that mean I should go home? My Singaporean home.
I dunno...

But for now...this new place is my home.
I have to make it the best it can be...which means I gotta unpack everything really soon, find a stable job or source of income, and maybe...just maybe...I can find my NEW life and happiness.