So here I am at last....again

And so here I am at last....again.
In front of my laptop supposed to be getting ready for bed.
But too many thoughts flood my head...I dont think I can sleep unless I get this out.

* I know I have been tagged by Nadia, but I'll write that another day *

So what's bugging me?
Doctors!
Not saying all doctors are idiots or inconsiderate bastards...but the ones in charge of my dad in hospital almost seem to all be that way.

Firstly...when I was still back in SG, they let him back to the general ward without constant monitoring although he JUST came out of the ICU from multiple systems failure. They then had to being him back to the ICU after his condition worsened a little.

Next...not explaining properly to my mom what is at stake with the dialysis that my dad has to undergo. Making it sound so...easy and "normal".

COME ON!!! NORMAL?!?! WTF!!!

Its HIS life ok! Of course they can be all non-chalant about it and just say..."its no problem one...our kidneys work all the time as well right?" My dad needs dialysis and haemodialysis is out of the question because his heart is weak and an artery collapsed completely. There is too much risk for him. So the option is the other one involving saline. But here's where the nonsense starts. There are 2 types but the one recommended is the DIY one. My dad will need to have dialysis 4 times a day by himself. According to a previous doctor...each time will take about 4 hrs.
Lets do the maths.
4x4hrs = 16hrs a day
DOES THAT MAKE SENSE TO YOU?

That means he wont be able to go out. The doctors said that there is no problem...he can take the bag of saline out with him...WAT?!?!?
WOULD YOU?
FRAK!!!
I want to go back and scream at them lor.
So easy to say...let them do it then! $%^#$%&$*#*
UGH!

OK! Enough about that today.

*

My mind is still messed up I think...too many thoughts...and lost in daydreams way too often.
I need to get my head back to reality and face up to real life.
Things are shite.
But it'll be great if only there was someone to share my troubles with me...

*

My body aint in good shape too.
There are too many time I feel that it is giving up on me already.
All the abuse I put it through...its finally fighting back and giving me hell.
Maybe it is dying and there is nothing I can do?
:(
Gonna see a doctor about a full body check soon.
SIGH

*

Everyone in my family is sick...3 people has been to the hospital already.
What is going on???