This scene is familiar.
Me sitting at the quiet part of the MacArthur's foodcourt. Just finished my KFC lunch and a magazine on the table. Listening to music typical of shopping centre foodcourts.
It was a few weeks ago I think that I was here.
It's interesting to be alone sometimes. It gives one a chance to reflect. To be away from the normal crowds on the city streets. But yet not at home alone where you get a different feeling. I get a sense of peace albeit with a little loneliness.
Just thinking about what has happened over the last few weeks. Blessed I am to find and get the job that I enjoy doing. To be able to work less hours than most, do my own things because now I have time, and strive to self improve.
With all this comes that reminder that I don't have someone to share this joy with. Not being greedy. I know I should be happy and thankful for what I already have. Just on Thursday I was telling Mervyn about the joys of just being happy about the little joys in life. Free dinner compliments of Conrad Treasury isn't that bad no?
I am positive the feeling will pass. But for now. Short as it possibly may. I am lonely.
2009-07-26
2009-07-21
Me, Harry and the Half Blood Prince
Just came home after watching Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince.
Wow.
Loved it.
Darker, sadder, but yet with hints of hope and happiness.
I know the plot already since I have already read the book but still...like the ones before this...watching it on the big screen always makes it a little more special.
My emotions were definitely pulled along as the movie unfolded.
And if you believe in mood rings - I only realised this AFTER walking out of the cinema - mine was red/white.
I think that reflects excitation/frustration?
All true at the end of the movie.
Can't wait for the final 2 movies based off the last book.
I sure hope they space them only months apart.
Sure can't imagine waiting years between the last 2 especially since they are from the same book.
Wow.
Loved it.
I know...they are the same 2 lines above but nothing says 'TRUE' better than repetition.
;)
Wow.
Loved it.
Darker, sadder, but yet with hints of hope and happiness.
I know the plot already since I have already read the book but still...like the ones before this...watching it on the big screen always makes it a little more special.
My emotions were definitely pulled along as the movie unfolded.
And if you believe in mood rings - I only realised this AFTER walking out of the cinema - mine was red/white.
I think that reflects excitation/frustration?
All true at the end of the movie.
Can't wait for the final 2 movies based off the last book.
I sure hope they space them only months apart.
Sure can't imagine waiting years between the last 2 especially since they are from the same book.
Wow.
Loved it.
I know...they are the same 2 lines above but nothing says 'TRUE' better than repetition.
;)
2009-07-15
Teaching Matters
I am exhausted. Now I understand the suffering my teachers had to go through back when I was still a student.
Being on your feet for most of the day.
Speaking for almost 8hrs straight.
Brain working overtime searching for the correct answers to questions from students.
But it's satisfying. After a long day, there is really a sense of accomplishment. Hopefully the sentiment isn't an illusion.
So let me enjoy this absolutely yummy curry chicken rice that has just arrived at my table. Mmmmmm.
Being on your feet for most of the day.
Speaking for almost 8hrs straight.
Brain working overtime searching for the correct answers to questions from students.
But it's satisfying. After a long day, there is really a sense of accomplishment. Hopefully the sentiment isn't an illusion.
So let me enjoy this absolutely yummy curry chicken rice that has just arrived at my table. Mmmmmm.
2009-06-21
Mobile Blogging
You know. This is cool. Now I can blog while on the move.
Got this new app on the iPhone that allows for text blogging for free.
Heh
Much easier.
Sitting at MacArthur central after a 5 wing pack for lunch from KFC reading a free mag.
Nice.
Relaxing.
But a little lonely.
The rain patters away outside while lounge music echoes away in here.
I miss someone alot.
Not that it matters....
Got this new app on the iPhone that allows for text blogging for free.
Heh
Much easier.
Sitting at MacArthur central after a 5 wing pack for lunch from KFC reading a free mag.
Nice.
Relaxing.
But a little lonely.
The rain patters away outside while lounge music echoes away in here.
I miss someone alot.
Not that it matters....
2009-06-11
2009-05-11
Nostalgia
What is this feeling?
A sense of longing?
Of Belonging.
Of something of past?
It's fading really fast...
Screaming silently.
Tearing my heart into pieces.
Into dust.
Nostalgia...
It sucks...maybe.
A sense of longing?
Of Belonging.
Of something of past?
It's fading really fast...
Screaming silently.
Tearing my heart into pieces.
Into dust.
Nostalgia...
It sucks...maybe.
2009-04-11
New-ness
I have always wondered how things will be different if I bought a place of my own.
Becoming a home owner...taking another step into adulthood.
But who knew...I had to lose my stable source of income at the same time.
Now I have to fight harder to survive.
Now I need to make sure I do not ever depend on others to dictate how my future unfolds.
Never would I have thought that I'd need to take so many steps at the same time.
How many people I know lead their lives allowing others to lead them to their tomorrows? After finding that first or second job and leave their fates to their employers.
Maybe not that many but I am sure there are enough to be significant.
There are still many things I need to learn...to experience...to suffer from...to rejoice about...to cry over...to keenly remember.
It takes a lot to keep it all together.
No Excuses!
I need still need to do it at the end of the day.
A little help and comfort helps of course...and I still seek that source everyday.
That corner that I can retreat to...to find comfort...to find peace.
I thought it was a house or apartment but what I need is a home...a place with loved ones...a place with family.
Does that mean I should go home? My Singaporean home.
I dunno...
But for now...this new place is my home.
I have to make it the best it can be...which means I gotta unpack everything really soon, find a stable job or source of income, and maybe...just maybe...I can find my NEW life and happiness.
Becoming a home owner...taking another step into adulthood.
But who knew...I had to lose my stable source of income at the same time.
Now I have to fight harder to survive.
Now I need to make sure I do not ever depend on others to dictate how my future unfolds.
Never would I have thought that I'd need to take so many steps at the same time.
How many people I know lead their lives allowing others to lead them to their tomorrows? After finding that first or second job and leave their fates to their employers.
Maybe not that many but I am sure there are enough to be significant.
There are still many things I need to learn...to experience...to suffer from...to rejoice about...to cry over...to keenly remember.
It takes a lot to keep it all together.
No Excuses!
I need still need to do it at the end of the day.
A little help and comfort helps of course...and I still seek that source everyday.
That corner that I can retreat to...to find comfort...to find peace.
I thought it was a house or apartment but what I need is a home...a place with loved ones...a place with family.
Does that mean I should go home? My Singaporean home.
I dunno...
But for now...this new place is my home.
I have to make it the best it can be...which means I gotta unpack everything really soon, find a stable job or source of income, and maybe...just maybe...I can find my NEW life and happiness.
2009-04-02
2009-02-17
The One With The Wondering
So how long has it been this time?
2 weeks?
Well....4 weeks since I properly wrote anything.
What has been happening?
Lots!
Well...firstly...my previous post was as such because I was FIRED!
Sort of.
After 3.5 years, I was finally asked to leave FAST.
Financial reasons within the company has made it impossible to retain me as a contractor.
Sigh...perhaps I had been at FAST for too long a time, as a contractor. I have been absolutely neglecting my self-development and got too comfortable at this one workplace.
Contractors are supposed to last maybe 3-6 mths at a project...and move on.
I had a good run.
But I wasn't expecting it.
That was the problem.
I was shocked...lost...devastated.
It felt like I was being rejected again.
It was irrational behaviour but it was a real emotion I felt.
So with 2 weeks' notice given, I was left without a job.
Olivier offered something for 4-6 weeks but that is temporary as well.
Gotta find myself something to live on.
- Tutoring at the various colleges in Brisbane?
- Taking up a course so I can work as a Barista?
- Going back to work as a programmer?
- Or return to Singapore and try pursue my eventual dream...to teach at a Poly or Uni.
I wonder what is going to happen.
OH! I bought an apartment.
A unit in Rivercity.
And till yesterday....it was just hurdle after hurdle.
SIGH.
There is still one small hitch but I am sure God will make it work for me.
I am tired and confused about life.
About my Future.
About Love...or the lack of it.
I am still figuring out stuff...I thank God for all I have...I just need direction now.
And maybe...God Willing...some Love too.
2 weeks?
Well....4 weeks since I properly wrote anything.
What has been happening?
Lots!
Well...firstly...my previous post was as such because I was FIRED!
Sort of.
After 3.5 years, I was finally asked to leave FAST.
Financial reasons within the company has made it impossible to retain me as a contractor.
Sigh...perhaps I had been at FAST for too long a time, as a contractor. I have been absolutely neglecting my self-development and got too comfortable at this one workplace.
Contractors are supposed to last maybe 3-6 mths at a project...and move on.
I had a good run.
But I wasn't expecting it.
That was the problem.
I was shocked...lost...devastated.
It felt like I was being rejected again.
It was irrational behaviour but it was a real emotion I felt.
So with 2 weeks' notice given, I was left without a job.
Olivier offered something for 4-6 weeks but that is temporary as well.
Gotta find myself something to live on.
- Tutoring at the various colleges in Brisbane?
- Taking up a course so I can work as a Barista?
- Going back to work as a programmer?
- Or return to Singapore and try pursue my eventual dream...to teach at a Poly or Uni.
I wonder what is going to happen.
OH! I bought an apartment.
A unit in Rivercity.
And till yesterday....it was just hurdle after hurdle.
SIGH.
There is still one small hitch but I am sure God will make it work for me.
I am tired and confused about life.
About my Future.
About Love...or the lack of it.
I am still figuring out stuff...I thank God for all I have...I just need direction now.
And maybe...God Willing...some Love too.
2009-02-02
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