So comes an end to my second day in Singapore.
Didn't do much today at all.
Stayed at home because I wanted to have a home cooked meal...YUM!
Miss mom's cooking.
So tomorrow is going to be the end of another open-ended chapter in my personal memoirs...if I or anyone else ever write one.
Michelle is getting married in the morning.
What else can I say?
Another chapter of 'regret', of 'what ifs' and of teenage infatuation.
It was...I guess...never meant to be.
My timidness and fear of rejection...again...was my sole (maybe) enemy in this again.
But it is in the past.
Tomorrow closes that part of my life...and the next page flips open.
I wonder which chapters yearns or even begs to be put away next.
Showing posts with label her. Show all posts
Showing posts with label her. Show all posts
2008-04-10
Reality Checkmate
So I am home today.
Took the day off because I wanted a break from work and well...I am cooking for 12 people tonight so I gotta spend some time preparing and buying the groceries as well.
Feeling somewhat numb all over again.
A Reality Check is what I got a few days back.
The story is as such:
Debbie and Amy are in town and have been since last Friday.
So since that day...I have accompanied them on certain parts of their holiday.
Went to the Casino for brunch/lunch with them and AC&UM, to the gold coast for dinner as well as a Glow Worm Tour with Debs on Monday night. Tuesday night dinner with them and Nadia at the Purple Olive. Wednesday dinner at Singapura, Mt Coot-that and 3 Monkeys. And tonight...I'll be cooking for the bunch of them.
It has been fun. Really fun. Tiring as it may be.
This few days has been the highlight of my year.
But something has been biting into my chest since last week. It has been great to spend time...REAL time...with her again. But there was this invisible wall between us. Sigh!
The guys have been telling me to move on...to give up that little emotion that I still hold onto. All logic tells me to as well. She is not into me. She has someone else back home...someone who probably gives her the happiness that I want to give her. But...but...ARGH...I can't. I tried to suppress and forget. I tried indulging in other things and focus myself on other things.
I tried.
I tried and failed.
I don't want to lie to myself.
I still love her.
But there is nothing I can do about it.
It takes 2 hands to clap and all that jazz...etc
I want to reject this present reality and substitute my own.
How can I do that?
I want that manual to life's problems so I know what I can do right now.
It is truly impossible to get someone to love you back?
Are all pairings pre-destined in the stars...in our stars?
I want to win this game of chess with fate.
And hold her in my arms and protect her best that I can.
To bring that smile to her face everyday.
The smile I remember so clearly in my mind.
I want to make this Reality Checkmate.
Took the day off because I wanted a break from work and well...I am cooking for 12 people tonight so I gotta spend some time preparing and buying the groceries as well.
Feeling somewhat numb all over again.
A Reality Check is what I got a few days back.
The story is as such:
Debbie and Amy are in town and have been since last Friday.
So since that day...I have accompanied them on certain parts of their holiday.
Went to the Casino for brunch/lunch with them and AC&UM, to the gold coast for dinner as well as a Glow Worm Tour with Debs on Monday night. Tuesday night dinner with them and Nadia at the Purple Olive. Wednesday dinner at Singapura, Mt Coot-that and 3 Monkeys. And tonight...I'll be cooking for the bunch of them.
It has been fun. Really fun. Tiring as it may be.
This few days has been the highlight of my year.
But something has been biting into my chest since last week. It has been great to spend time...REAL time...with her again. But there was this invisible wall between us. Sigh!
The guys have been telling me to move on...to give up that little emotion that I still hold onto. All logic tells me to as well. She is not into me. She has someone else back home...someone who probably gives her the happiness that I want to give her. But...but...ARGH...I can't. I tried to suppress and forget. I tried indulging in other things and focus myself on other things.
I tried.
I tried and failed.
I don't want to lie to myself.
I still love her.
But there is nothing I can do about it.
It takes 2 hands to clap and all that jazz...etc
I want to reject this present reality and substitute my own.
How can I do that?
I want that manual to life's problems so I know what I can do right now.
It is truly impossible to get someone to love you back?
Are all pairings pre-destined in the stars...in our stars?
I want to win this game of chess with fate.
And hold her in my arms and protect her best that I can.
To bring that smile to her face everyday.
The smile I remember so clearly in my mind.
I want to make this Reality Checkmate.
2007-10-31
Life Changes Life
Its been a while since I wrote again (well...a week actually).
I guess it takes more than just events to get me writing regularly.
Sometimes you just need to...'feel' the words...you know?
Anyways...I digress...
Quite a few things have happened over the past week.
There was the BBQ on Saturday afternoon to celebrate Jeff's bday.
Justin and I finally hammered down an arrangement for 20 Good Reasons that I am gonna use for my album.
And last night, we went to Il-Centro to celebrate Lindsay's bday.
All THAT...among other things.
I know I know...I still haven't written about the Dinner @ AC&UM's, the SSA Lawn Bowls nor the Hari Raya dinner. Hmm...Maybe I should update on that...but it'll make this post too long. Hahaha...I'll shelve it again.
So what has happened? Let's see.
On Saturday we had a little BBQ over my mine to celebrate Jeff's bday. Mervyn and I thought that it is a good idea to gather some friends over as well to have a mini-gathering at the same time. We had just enough food...it was amazing. I think there were a couple of steaks left (which Merv left in my fridge...still there btw) that we didn't cook but compared to past events...this was great. We all ate our fill definitely.
Photos to come soon.
On Sunday, after watching Matt on Aussie Idol do his version of 20 Good Reasons, I finally decided on the style of songs I want for the album.
Laid back and relaxed acoustic.
So I had a word with him online and we decided to give it a go on Monday night. Which we did. And without jumping the gun too much, I thought it turned out very nice. All we gotta do is work out a few more songs and hopefully...we'll start recording again soon. Hopefully there won't be a need for too much post-production as well.
Target: Still Christmas.
And last night was the best la...went to Il-Centro for dinner. Lindsay bought herself a bottle of Champagne and shared it with Nadia, Joel and myself.
Mmmmmm.....taste of the rich....hahaha.
It was good fun and good foooooooooooooooooood.
OMG...the Kangaroo Striploin I had was to die for!
And it wasn't gamey...tt's the best part. Usually when I prepare my own Kangaroo steaks...it turns out gamey. But still nice of course. ;)
We came back after dinner and had cake (to Lindsay's horror).
Didn't go to bed till 1am cos I was sitting in my room after that practicing singing. HARD WORK!
Photos to come as well.
But all that came to a minor halt when I woke up this morning feeling, firstly, bloated...the dinner was too rich I think...hahaha. And secondly, depressed cos of waking up alone after a fun night. But of course...it didn't come out of no where. There is always a reason. This time...it was finding out some...news from back home.
Through my various sources (can't reveal it else it'll be too obvious), I found out that the girl I mentioned a while back...the definitive crush of my life...is engaged. (crowd: GASPS! Oh dear!)
YES! That also lead up to the definitive punch to my gut.
I guess taking it into perspective...it shouldn't matter cos I chose not to tell her about my feelings back then. And even then...it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways. She was the gorgeous super-smart girl that everyone loved. I was the fat, loud and untalented fool (not to mention...not very smart) who was silently infatuated with her.
That said...it still hurts to know that she is probably gone from reach...forever. I can't control it. It just does. I'd wish it away if I could...but that's just wishful thinking. Like all so many of my other stupid emotions that I experience on a daily basis. :(
Hug me to make me feel better?
LOL
I guess it takes more than just events to get me writing regularly.
Sometimes you just need to...'feel' the words...you know?
Anyways...I digress...
Quite a few things have happened over the past week.
There was the BBQ on Saturday afternoon to celebrate Jeff's bday.
Justin and I finally hammered down an arrangement for 20 Good Reasons that I am gonna use for my album.
And last night, we went to Il-Centro to celebrate Lindsay's bday.
All THAT...among other things.
I know I know...I still haven't written about the Dinner @ AC&UM's, the SSA Lawn Bowls nor the Hari Raya dinner. Hmm...Maybe I should update on that...but it'll make this post too long. Hahaha...I'll shelve it again.
So what has happened? Let's see.
On Saturday we had a little BBQ over my mine to celebrate Jeff's bday. Mervyn and I thought that it is a good idea to gather some friends over as well to have a mini-gathering at the same time. We had just enough food...it was amazing. I think there were a couple of steaks left (which Merv left in my fridge...still there btw) that we didn't cook but compared to past events...this was great. We all ate our fill definitely.
Photos to come soon.
On Sunday, after watching Matt on Aussie Idol do his version of 20 Good Reasons, I finally decided on the style of songs I want for the album.
Laid back and relaxed acoustic.
So I had a word with him online and we decided to give it a go on Monday night. Which we did. And without jumping the gun too much, I thought it turned out very nice. All we gotta do is work out a few more songs and hopefully...we'll start recording again soon. Hopefully there won't be a need for too much post-production as well.
Target: Still Christmas.
And last night was the best la...went to Il-Centro for dinner. Lindsay bought herself a bottle of Champagne and shared it with Nadia, Joel and myself.
Mmmmmm.....taste of the rich....hahaha.
It was good fun and good foooooooooooooooooood.
OMG...the Kangaroo Striploin I had was to die for!
And it wasn't gamey...tt's the best part. Usually when I prepare my own Kangaroo steaks...it turns out gamey. But still nice of course. ;)
We came back after dinner and had cake (to Lindsay's horror).
Didn't go to bed till 1am cos I was sitting in my room after that practicing singing. HARD WORK!
Photos to come as well.
But all that came to a minor halt when I woke up this morning feeling, firstly, bloated...the dinner was too rich I think...hahaha. And secondly, depressed cos of waking up alone after a fun night. But of course...it didn't come out of no where. There is always a reason. This time...it was finding out some...news from back home.
Through my various sources (can't reveal it else it'll be too obvious), I found out that the girl I mentioned a while back...the definitive crush of my life...is engaged. (crowd: GASPS! Oh dear!)
YES! That also lead up to the definitive punch to my gut.
I guess taking it into perspective...it shouldn't matter cos I chose not to tell her about my feelings back then. And even then...it probably wouldn't have worked out anyways. She was the gorgeous super-smart girl that everyone loved. I was the fat, loud and untalented fool (not to mention...not very smart) who was silently infatuated with her.
That said...it still hurts to know that she is probably gone from reach...forever. I can't control it. It just does. I'd wish it away if I could...but that's just wishful thinking. Like all so many of my other stupid emotions that I experience on a daily basis. :(
Hug me to make me feel better?
LOL
2007-09-10
Song: Sen no Yoru wo Koete
*Edit*
This is the link to the song.
The old style might be crashing some browsers (IE Sucks)
http://odeo.com/audio/16531973/view
This song is for you.
The words I want to say to you.
But perhaps never could.
If you ever find out what it says, you'll know what my hearts yearns to shout out.
This is the link to the song.
The old style might be crashing some browsers (IE Sucks)
http://odeo.com/audio/16531973/view
This song is for you.
The words I want to say to you.
But perhaps never could.
If you ever find out what it says, you'll know what my hearts yearns to shout out.
2007-04-15
Another weekend over
So another weekend passes like all the others.
When I think back...I dont even know what I did that was constructive.
Wednesday was a little highlight of the week.
The SSA Dance Party was on. Well...it kinda was more of a get-together type of event instead of a Dance Party but it was fun.
Went there early with Madiq and we hung out, chilled, had a few drinks and had a great time catching up with many people. I dunno exactly but I guess that night also gave a little bit of a revelation: Perhaps I have allowed myself to think of the future a bit already. I dunno...it was just a feeling. (very cryptic I know...but I dont wanna talk abt it much)
Took Thursday off cos I really wanted to rest a day to get rid of the flu I caught (which didnt really work out). Ended up having lunch with Nadia and Lindsay, and also bought myself a new and LARGE frying pan. FINALLY...new cookware...lol.
Friday was another day...bored at work but at least it passed quite quickly. We had dinner that night at Hanaichi...UGH...service was bad...food not as good...prices really high...sometimes I wonder why we go there.
And Saturday came...a day I kinda dreaded. It is the day Supanova was held at the RNA again. An annual event which means a little more to me than anyone might even know. It is a day that reminded me of how hollow I can feel. I got my heart torn out on this day...I hate this feeling. Although it is long past...the feeling still lingers. I originally wanted to just go and enjoy myself but I couldnt find anyone who wanted to go...perhaps I didnt ask around enough. But I was feeling lazy as well la. Heh.
That kinda gave the theme for the rest of the day and today as well. Just this gloomy feeling (I wonder if anyone felt it) all around me. I sat at home today in the afternoon just listening to the American Recording of Children of Eden while reading a good magazine. Sang along to some songs on my computer (which brought me some sort of relief) before heading out to Joel's for Creme Brule...mmmm...nice.
Pasta again for dinner but Nadia and Damien didnt come over so I got sooooo much left over...lol. Lunch Settled!
A friend mentioned a heart is needed to do anything. Dont lose it. I agree. Maybe I need a hero to save my heart and perhaps my soul.
When I think back...I dont even know what I did that was constructive.
Wednesday was a little highlight of the week.
The SSA Dance Party was on. Well...it kinda was more of a get-together type of event instead of a Dance Party but it was fun.
Went there early with Madiq and we hung out, chilled, had a few drinks and had a great time catching up with many people. I dunno exactly but I guess that night also gave a little bit of a revelation: Perhaps I have allowed myself to think of the future a bit already. I dunno...it was just a feeling. (very cryptic I know...but I dont wanna talk abt it much)
Took Thursday off cos I really wanted to rest a day to get rid of the flu I caught (which didnt really work out). Ended up having lunch with Nadia and Lindsay, and also bought myself a new and LARGE frying pan. FINALLY...new cookware...lol.
Friday was another day...bored at work but at least it passed quite quickly. We had dinner that night at Hanaichi...UGH...service was bad...food not as good...prices really high...sometimes I wonder why we go there.
And Saturday came...a day I kinda dreaded. It is the day Supanova was held at the RNA again. An annual event which means a little more to me than anyone might even know. It is a day that reminded me of how hollow I can feel. I got my heart torn out on this day...I hate this feeling. Although it is long past...the feeling still lingers. I originally wanted to just go and enjoy myself but I couldnt find anyone who wanted to go...perhaps I didnt ask around enough. But I was feeling lazy as well la. Heh.
That kinda gave the theme for the rest of the day and today as well. Just this gloomy feeling (I wonder if anyone felt it) all around me. I sat at home today in the afternoon just listening to the American Recording of Children of Eden while reading a good magazine. Sang along to some songs on my computer (which brought me some sort of relief) before heading out to Joel's for Creme Brule...mmmm...nice.
Pasta again for dinner but Nadia and Damien didnt come over so I got sooooo much left over...lol. Lunch Settled!
A friend mentioned a heart is needed to do anything. Dont lose it. I agree. Maybe I need a hero to save my heart and perhaps my soul.
2006-10-16
Wicked Game
I heard this last night on Idol and I cried..(YES! I cried...so? heh...it takes a real man to admit that)
It kinda really does reflect...well...me...now that is.
So I'd like to share this with you.
"Wicked Game"
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I knew somebody like you.
No, I don't want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I don't want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you. With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,
I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you no,
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I...
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
Nobody loves no one.
It kinda really does reflect...well...me...now that is.
So I'd like to share this with you.
"Wicked Game"
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I knew somebody like you.
No, I don't want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I don't want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you. With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to let me dream of you.
What a wicked thing to say, you never felt this way.
What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you and,
I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
The world was on fire and no one could save me but you.
It's strange what desire will make foolish people do.
I never dreamed that I'd love somebody like you.
And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you no,
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I want to fall in love.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
With you.
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
No, I...
(This world is only gonna break your heart)
Nobody loves no one.
2006-10-09
The Roadtrip Log (Sun 0400hrs - Mon 0700hrs)
TRIVIA: This is my 100th post and it started NOT in Brisbane!!!!
Sunday 4.00am
Outskirts of Canberra
We have arrived!
Canberra finally. And the first thing we all said when we got out of the car? "COLD!!!!!" "WTF?!?!?!"
It was freezing.
It could have been -10 as far I know but I think it was more towards the 2-5 degrees mark.
Anyways...we checked in, went to the room, made as little noise as possible to the other 4 people in the room and...collapsed.
Sunday ~7.30am
YHA Canberra
Tooooo! Tooooo! TOOOOO!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!
The fire alarm is going off like this ear splitting thing!
The hostel manager actually came up to every room to get everyone downstairs, in our sleepwear. I looked ridiculous! Grey singlet, green shorts and black leather shoes without socks on. Oh Dear!
We found out later that the fire alarm we triggered by mistake by a kid...$#%#^#^@$%^#$%
Anyways...we rushed back to the room just so to fall asleep again almost immeditely.
Sunday 10.30am
Griffin Centre
After a terrible walk from the carpark, we finally got to the venue for the event. Should be interesting. Will update soon.
And what's this? A line? We gotta queue up to get in?
LOL...how Singaporean is that?
Oh no! Wait! It's only in the line to buy raffle tickets...well...10 for me please!
Sunday 5.14pm
Somewhere on the M7 bypass
What a day we had. Totally insane.
After arriving in Canberra around 4.30am last night, we promptly checked into the room at YHA and went to bed. But lo and behold, at 7 in the morning, the bloody fire alarm went off. UGH!!! WTF?!?!? I wanted to sleep!!!!
Ended up going to bed about 15 mins later after the firemen concluded that it was a false alarm. So @ around 9am, woke up, showered, packed, and we were on our way to the Makan Besar.
The event itself was ok la. Met a few people, had good food (perhaps sleep deprevation has affected my judgement). The other 4 guys all won prizes. Hahaha...I wasnt expecting anything for myself la. I never win anything for free ever anyways. :)
Lots of photos to be uploaded and definitely once I have a chance. Probably on Monday evening la.
So around 2pm, we left the Griffin Centre (the location of the Makan Besar) and drove down to the Australian Parliament House for photos and soveniors. And then, rushed back on the road to get home. We stopped about 1-2 hrs later @ a KFC for food, and now, we're back on the road. Jeff is driving, Alan is V-com. Anthony is having a huge rest at the back. So here we are again, singing along to old songs from our youth and talking about absolutely nonsensical things. But hey! we love it.
Sunday 11.30pm
Somewhere north of Sydney
So here I am again, seated in the front of the vehicle and Mervyn is the driver for this leg of the drive. Everyone else is seated at the back catching Zs.
Mervyn has been driving for the past 2 hours and I have been playing music on request and of course, some of my own personal favorites via the setup we have in the car. Had a long chat with Mervyn about life, love, and everything that came to our minds. It was a good chat. Brought back some really terrible memories for myself but it was good to have it voiced out. I can face them head on (sorta) like that.
I have to say at this point of the trip, I am feeling really tired already. The lack of sleep, the lack of movement, the lack of stimulation and stuck in cramped spaces with deakness all around on the outside has finally taken its toll on myself and I am sure, the rest of the group as well. But it was a good trip...and we'll soldier on for the final few hours that is left.
Monday 3.40am
"The Big Prawn" stopover
Ah! here we are at last. This is one place I was expecting to go past but not stop for this trip. It was the first place we had a stopover last year and also the last we had as well, minus the sidetrack stop at the beach. But I'd never thought we'd stop here....HERE of all places.
The guys went for a toilet break while I took a photo of the Prawn as well as munching on a Milo bar that I bought from the only store still open at this hour here. I almost teared up when it hit me that I am actually here. This place which made someone cry last year because of something left behind. This place which I met, for the first time despite being on the same bus, 2 girls from UQ who became good companions and chat buddies for the trip. This place which brought about a smile on her face when she finally got her stuff back from the helpful people at the counter.
Anyways...I digress. Alan was driving this final leg of the trip and Anthony was keeping him company. Mervyn and I were trying to rest at the back of the car with no success (well...for me anyways) because we had work in the morning. I was feeling so terrible that I actually contemplated calling in sick or take a day off.
Well...it was a thought afterall.
Monday 7.00am
Home (aka Rivercity Apartments)
Ah! Home. But no time to waste.
We dropped off Anthony at his hostel, dropped off Alan's stuff, dropped off Jeff's things and he moved to his car, dropped Mervyn and I off at Rivercity to unload our luggage.
Alan is not going to return the Tarago, Jeff will follow and then drive Alan and himself and Alan home to (presumably) rest and unpack.
Ugh...still too tired to think but I'll go with them to get to work since its on the way anyways. (the car hire place is in Newstead as well)
A common, rushed, and mad way to end a road trip but here's to a good trip to Canberra. Wished we had more time but that's it for now. So from exactly where the whole trip started off, here's me signing off for the last time in the log. WE MADE IT!!!
[end log]
Sunday 4.00am
Outskirts of Canberra
We have arrived!
Canberra finally. And the first thing we all said when we got out of the car? "COLD!!!!!" "WTF?!?!?!"
It was freezing.
It could have been -10 as far I know but I think it was more towards the 2-5 degrees mark.
Anyways...we checked in, went to the room, made as little noise as possible to the other 4 people in the room and...collapsed.
Sunday ~7.30am
YHA Canberra
Tooooo! Tooooo! TOOOOO!!!!!
ARGH!!!!!
The fire alarm is going off like this ear splitting thing!
The hostel manager actually came up to every room to get everyone downstairs, in our sleepwear. I looked ridiculous! Grey singlet, green shorts and black leather shoes without socks on. Oh Dear!
We found out later that the fire alarm we triggered by mistake by a kid...$#%#^#^@$%^#$%
Anyways...we rushed back to the room just so to fall asleep again almost immeditely.
Sunday 10.30am
Griffin Centre
After a terrible walk from the carpark, we finally got to the venue for the event. Should be interesting. Will update soon.
And what's this? A line? We gotta queue up to get in?
LOL...how Singaporean is that?
Oh no! Wait! It's only in the line to buy raffle tickets...well...10 for me please!
Sunday 5.14pm
Somewhere on the M7 bypass
What a day we had. Totally insane.
After arriving in Canberra around 4.30am last night, we promptly checked into the room at YHA and went to bed. But lo and behold, at 7 in the morning, the bloody fire alarm went off. UGH!!! WTF?!?!? I wanted to sleep!!!!
Ended up going to bed about 15 mins later after the firemen concluded that it was a false alarm. So @ around 9am, woke up, showered, packed, and we were on our way to the Makan Besar.
The event itself was ok la. Met a few people, had good food (perhaps sleep deprevation has affected my judgement). The other 4 guys all won prizes. Hahaha...I wasnt expecting anything for myself la. I never win anything for free ever anyways. :)
Lots of photos to be uploaded and definitely once I have a chance. Probably on Monday evening la.
So around 2pm, we left the Griffin Centre (the location of the Makan Besar) and drove down to the Australian Parliament House for photos and soveniors. And then, rushed back on the road to get home. We stopped about 1-2 hrs later @ a KFC for food, and now, we're back on the road. Jeff is driving, Alan is V-com. Anthony is having a huge rest at the back. So here we are again, singing along to old songs from our youth and talking about absolutely nonsensical things. But hey! we love it.
Sunday 11.30pm
Somewhere north of Sydney
So here I am again, seated in the front of the vehicle and Mervyn is the driver for this leg of the drive. Everyone else is seated at the back catching Zs.
Mervyn has been driving for the past 2 hours and I have been playing music on request and of course, some of my own personal favorites via the setup we have in the car. Had a long chat with Mervyn about life, love, and everything that came to our minds. It was a good chat. Brought back some really terrible memories for myself but it was good to have it voiced out. I can face them head on (sorta) like that.
I have to say at this point of the trip, I am feeling really tired already. The lack of sleep, the lack of movement, the lack of stimulation and stuck in cramped spaces with deakness all around on the outside has finally taken its toll on myself and I am sure, the rest of the group as well. But it was a good trip...and we'll soldier on for the final few hours that is left.
Monday 3.40am
"The Big Prawn" stopover
Ah! here we are at last. This is one place I was expecting to go past but not stop for this trip. It was the first place we had a stopover last year and also the last we had as well, minus the sidetrack stop at the beach. But I'd never thought we'd stop here....HERE of all places.
The guys went for a toilet break while I took a photo of the Prawn as well as munching on a Milo bar that I bought from the only store still open at this hour here. I almost teared up when it hit me that I am actually here. This place which made someone cry last year because of something left behind. This place which I met, for the first time despite being on the same bus, 2 girls from UQ who became good companions and chat buddies for the trip. This place which brought about a smile on her face when she finally got her stuff back from the helpful people at the counter.
Anyways...I digress. Alan was driving this final leg of the trip and Anthony was keeping him company. Mervyn and I were trying to rest at the back of the car with no success (well...for me anyways) because we had work in the morning. I was feeling so terrible that I actually contemplated calling in sick or take a day off.
Well...it was a thought afterall.
Monday 7.00am
Home (aka Rivercity Apartments)
Ah! Home. But no time to waste.
We dropped off Anthony at his hostel, dropped off Alan's stuff, dropped off Jeff's things and he moved to his car, dropped Mervyn and I off at Rivercity to unload our luggage.
Alan is not going to return the Tarago, Jeff will follow and then drive Alan and himself and Alan home to (presumably) rest and unpack.
Ugh...still too tired to think but I'll go with them to get to work since its on the way anyways. (the car hire place is in Newstead as well)
A common, rushed, and mad way to end a road trip but here's to a good trip to Canberra. Wished we had more time but that's it for now. So from exactly where the whole trip started off, here's me signing off for the last time in the log. WE MADE IT!!!
[end log]
2006-10-06
new features
added a categories section...wow...but its only for new/recent entries only of course.
i cant imagine myself going back to all my old entries and giving them labels...no that i didnt try...just got bored when i got to the....5th?
lol
i am excited...canberra
lots of good memories the last time i went down there.
some more than others (drifting off into the tumultuous sea of emotions...........
i cant imagine myself going back to all my old entries and giving them labels...no that i didnt try...just got bored when i got to the....5th?
lol
i am excited...canberra
lots of good memories the last time i went down there.
some more than others (drifting off into the tumultuous sea of emotions...........
2006-10-03
here we go again...
ah...it has been too long since my last entry.
just didnt feel like writing.
dunno why.
just not in the mood.
havent been in the mood for anything for so long.
not like there isnt anything to write about.
soooo many things have happened: SSA AGM, SSA Dance Party, new forum for the SSAs, Menopause the Musical, I injured my knee and limping now, our plan to go down to Canberra next week, and those are just a few...
like the typical Cancer, I am affected by mood, and I can tell you this, I havent been high spirited in a long long time.
I hate feeling like this. I can operate and go on with life, but i just dont want to. a real smile is hard to come by recently and I miss that feeling of being happy.
I am such an idiot.
how shall I start? dont really know...haha
lets see....probably not in order but on what I remember as I write this.
firstly...SSA AGM.
it is finally over for this year's committee. congrats to them for their hard work and events this year. for wat its worth...I enjoyed my time when I attended the events. Chia Erhn is the new president for next year...so it'll be interesting to see how things turn out next year.
the dance party a few days later was ok if not memorable. just 10-20 mins of arriving, I tripped and fell on my knee, confining me to the sofas for the rest of the night and even now...I am still off my legs as much as possible. it hurts! and physical pain added onto how I am feeling inside is not a good combination for any bit of sanity. I am erratic these days, and it takes a lot not to suddenly burst into a flourish of vulgarities and maybe even physical expressions of frustration.
I need to get this knee healed soon.
helped Alan setup a forum that he will use for his personal projects (although i didnt really help much because of software automation...lol). cant get into it too much until he is ready to unveil it to the rest of the world. but it is looking great.
a few weeks ago, we went down to watch Menopause. a musical about 4 women and how they dealt with hot flushes, mood swings and memory loss. it was great fun. laughed the whole 90 mins. although the actual trip there was horrid. we arrived later than planned, couldnt find parking and ended up on the other side of the hill. WOW!!! imagine...ME...climbing up this ridiculously steep hill only to go down its horrendous way down just to get to the theatre. lucky the actual musical was worth it. ended up at Doris T's place after for coffee and tea where we chatted into the night...it was great.
talking about musicals...accompanied Justin, Kimmy and her friend Kim to a meeting of an amatuer theatre group here in Brisbane. at first...I had thought it'll be great to be part of a group of people who are doing this production annually. well, that idea kinda got itself blasted when i got there. they had recorded the play on DVD and I was......left with less to say. it was......well....lets just leave it at that and you can imagine the rest away. sufficed to say, Kimmy and Kim wont be getting back to them anytime soon and probably...neither will I.
UM asked me whether I am interested in joining the SC to help them with their website. I didnt know what to say. it wasnt something new, they had asked before a while ago, but their AGM was coming up and they needed an answer. I said yes which kinda eventually led up to me learning lots about flash and CSS and etc about modern website design. should be interesting to see how I can help.
and finally, this coming weekend. the Singapore Community Day is on at the Singapore High Comm. at first, I had given up on the idea of going because the subsidy available is crap, flying over is too costly and there just wasnt enough people interested. well...not until sat when I had one of my large gatherings/bbqs/potlucks.
the few of us left at the end of the night started talking about it and somehow came to an idea. to drive down to Canberra in a Tarago. we started looking into prices of rental, lodging, and fuel. it was possible! and it is a bunch of people who are willing to go down and actually an spend time together without killing each other. one thing led to another and as of this morning, we had confirmed plans, participants, and costs for the trip. now I just need to compile roadtrip music and we are all go!
one small hickup did happen though. this sat, the SC had invited some of us (all involved with the trip) to a dinner that is to happen after their exco stepping down meeting. but with this new plan happening, we wont be able to go. when we told AC last night, she was not a happy camper to say the least. I was taken aback....WHY?!?!?! it's not like we are blowing off the dinner for a dance party or clubbing in the valley. we are going down to Canberra to further certain plans put into action recently. to meet people and be part of something important and significant. and wat I am still blur about is...what has their stepping down have to do with us??? we arent in the committee. I am so confused. what do you think?
tt's all I wanted to write about. cant think of anything more and the entry has already grown too long. cant expect too many people to read long entries. so here's me...signing off...and reaching for a gun to shoot myself.
just didnt feel like writing.
dunno why.
just not in the mood.
havent been in the mood for anything for so long.
not like there isnt anything to write about.
soooo many things have happened: SSA AGM, SSA Dance Party, new forum for the SSAs, Menopause the Musical, I injured my knee and limping now, our plan to go down to Canberra next week, and those are just a few...
like the typical Cancer, I am affected by mood, and I can tell you this, I havent been high spirited in a long long time.
I hate feeling like this. I can operate and go on with life, but i just dont want to. a real smile is hard to come by recently and I miss that feeling of being happy.
I am such an idiot.
how shall I start? dont really know...haha
lets see....probably not in order but on what I remember as I write this.
firstly...SSA AGM.
it is finally over for this year's committee. congrats to them for their hard work and events this year. for wat its worth...I enjoyed my time when I attended the events. Chia Erhn is the new president for next year...so it'll be interesting to see how things turn out next year.
the dance party a few days later was ok if not memorable. just 10-20 mins of arriving, I tripped and fell on my knee, confining me to the sofas for the rest of the night and even now...I am still off my legs as much as possible. it hurts! and physical pain added onto how I am feeling inside is not a good combination for any bit of sanity. I am erratic these days, and it takes a lot not to suddenly burst into a flourish of vulgarities and maybe even physical expressions of frustration.
I need to get this knee healed soon.
helped Alan setup a forum that he will use for his personal projects (although i didnt really help much because of software automation...lol). cant get into it too much until he is ready to unveil it to the rest of the world. but it is looking great.
a few weeks ago, we went down to watch Menopause. a musical about 4 women and how they dealt with hot flushes, mood swings and memory loss. it was great fun. laughed the whole 90 mins. although the actual trip there was horrid. we arrived later than planned, couldnt find parking and ended up on the other side of the hill. WOW!!! imagine...ME...climbing up this ridiculously steep hill only to go down its horrendous way down just to get to the theatre. lucky the actual musical was worth it. ended up at Doris T's place after for coffee and tea where we chatted into the night...it was great.
talking about musicals...accompanied Justin, Kimmy and her friend Kim to a meeting of an amatuer theatre group here in Brisbane. at first...I had thought it'll be great to be part of a group of people who are doing this production annually. well, that idea kinda got itself blasted when i got there. they had recorded the play on DVD and I was......left with less to say. it was......well....lets just leave it at that and you can imagine the rest away. sufficed to say, Kimmy and Kim wont be getting back to them anytime soon and probably...neither will I.
UM asked me whether I am interested in joining the SC to help them with their website. I didnt know what to say. it wasnt something new, they had asked before a while ago, but their AGM was coming up and they needed an answer. I said yes which kinda eventually led up to me learning lots about flash and CSS and etc about modern website design. should be interesting to see how I can help.
and finally, this coming weekend. the Singapore Community Day is on at the Singapore High Comm. at first, I had given up on the idea of going because the subsidy available is crap, flying over is too costly and there just wasnt enough people interested. well...not until sat when I had one of my large gatherings/bbqs/potlucks.
the few of us left at the end of the night started talking about it and somehow came to an idea. to drive down to Canberra in a Tarago. we started looking into prices of rental, lodging, and fuel. it was possible! and it is a bunch of people who are willing to go down and actually an spend time together without killing each other. one thing led to another and as of this morning, we had confirmed plans, participants, and costs for the trip. now I just need to compile roadtrip music and we are all go!
one small hickup did happen though. this sat, the SC had invited some of us (all involved with the trip) to a dinner that is to happen after their exco stepping down meeting. but with this new plan happening, we wont be able to go. when we told AC last night, she was not a happy camper to say the least. I was taken aback....WHY?!?!?! it's not like we are blowing off the dinner for a dance party or clubbing in the valley. we are going down to Canberra to further certain plans put into action recently. to meet people and be part of something important and significant. and wat I am still blur about is...what has their stepping down have to do with us??? we arent in the committee. I am so confused. what do you think?
tt's all I wanted to write about. cant think of anything more and the entry has already grown too long. cant expect too many people to read long entries. so here's me...signing off...and reaching for a gun to shoot myself.
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